Face it, Own it, Learn What You Can and Start Fresh!

The first time, after I began going to Weight Watchers, that I stepped on the scale to see a gain I was crushed.

The week before I had reached the 40 pound mark and had finally decided to try working out.  Being a fan of the Biggest Loser and hearing other people talk about Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred, I decided to give it a try.

If you've never tried one of Jillian's workout videos...they're tough! Especially for a girl over a hundred pounds overweight.

Every day that week I talked myself into doing the twenty minute workout and I was so excited to see what the scale held in store for me that week!

Well, I stepped on the scale to see a 3 pound GAIN. I admit it...I cried. I cried the ugly cry at the Weight Watchers.

Since then I've had many a gain. Some deserved, and some not. But every gain has taught me something...whether deserved or not.

Some taught me that I'm really not that good at guestimating, some taught me that I really do need to get up off my butt and workout and sometimes you just have to keep on keeping on until the number on the scale gets with the program.

 
I think the most valuable lesson I've learned is in being faithful. Showing up even when it's tough and I have a million excuses to stay home. Rain, shine, loss or gain, every week I show up to face that scale.  I get on that scale, accept the number, own the actions that put it there, learn what I can, let go of the rest and I step off with a clean slate.

Did you make a resolution that you're struggling to keep? Already resigned to failure?! Don't give up! Face it, own it, learn what you can, let it go and start fresh!!! You can do it!!

An Unsure End

This morning on our way to our favorite donut shop I got a brilliant idea!

We pulled up to the shop, I handed Caleb money to pay for the donuts and I sent my five wild indians into the donut shop. Alone. Without me.

I sat in the car...in complete peace and quiet and enjoyed my time immensely...only slightly holding my breath about what the outcome of this "brilliant idea" would be...because "what do you get when you send five wild indians into a donut shop?" sounds like a bad joke that I'd rather not know the punchline to.

A few months ago I read an article about over parenting and was really startled by how much I recognized myself in it. Cause, see, I'm a controller and that tends to make me a 'no' mom because saying yes might lead to a situation I can't control and that's really scary for me.

When I was Caleb's age I was riding my bike all over town running bank and grocery errands for my parents. And while I know that times have changed since then and we probably should be more careful, my over parenting seriously stunts my children's growth in maturity and creativity.

So, I've started weighing whether my inclination to say no is a real concern for their safety or for my own comfort.   And honestly, I have seen them blossom in the last few months. They've made friends, spent more time outside and been more creative. And that really makes me want to give them freedom...because kids need that! And guess what?! I need that too! It's pretty silly how much stress I heap upon myself needlessly!

photo courtesy of Alisha Hurt PHotography

So out of the donut shop they came...with the owner following them. And I'm thinking "oh no! What did they do?!?!"

I opened the car door and stepped out expecting the owner to reprimand me for sending them in alone.

Instead she smiled and told me they were the most well behaved kids she'd ever had in her shop AND she had given them donut holes as a reward for being so good. Ashamedly, I was shocked.

The kids handed me their change and filed into the car full of a sense of accomplishment.  The told me all about their donut shop experience while I silently thanked God for His goodness and felt the slight tinge of conviction for not having more faith in God and in my children.

It was a good day!

Warning! You Get What You Pay For and this Blog Costs You Nothing But Time! :)

It's kind of a cliche to make resolutions this time of year. It's also kind of a cliche for those resolutions to be short lived.

I've honestly never been one to make New Year's resolutions, but I have made a lot of resolutions at varying times of the year...most of which have failed.

But I'll be honest, I've come to love failure almost as much as I love success. Sure, it doesn't feel good to fail...at least not in the moment...and if people are watching...but every time I fail I learn something. I can give you a 101 ways NOT to lose weight (which, let's face it...they really ALL boil down to ONE way)...but it took me failing all of those times to figure out how to do it right.

Here's the thing, I didn't just wake up one morning with the will power to not eat all the donuts in the house. I woke up one morning depressed and feeling hopeless and in that depression and hopelessness I cried out to God and confessed that I couldn't do it on my own and that I need him.

So for what it's worth (and I warned you in the beginning that I don't know anything about anything and this is not a blog you'll be learning much from) here's my two cents on how go about goal/resolution setting:

1.  Seek God's kingdom FIRST. Get our priorities straight...making sure we're setting goals for God's glory and not our own.

2.  Pray. And pray often. Every. Single. Time. you think about your goals or something you want to change or someone you are at odds with or something you're thankful for. Basically, pray without ceasing. (See??? No new information here...I warned you!!!) If it concerns you, pray about it.

3.  Set aside a time of reflection and planning. Go somewhere quiet, wait until your kids are asleep or you can sneak away for a few minutes...relax, treat yourself, pray and set your goals. Think about where you want to be a year from now...and then ask yourself what you can do this week to move toward those goals and set some goals for this week. And then each night before you go to sleep...pray and then think about what you can do the next day to meet your weekly goals.

4.  Be thankful. When even the smallest of goals is achieved thank God. Recognize His power and work in your life and thank Him.

On that note, here are the goals I've set for myself this year:

Personal (I include my spiritual goals in this category)

• get up and have quiet time first thing in the morning
• get to goal weight
• create a functional/fashionable wardrobe 
• avoid self pity--have a positive/joyful attitude specifically about Michael's time away from home
• develop closer friendships
• develop more effective routines for homekeeping
• learn about and implement gardening/canning
• set up specific "work time"/be more intentional about blogging/developing skills/learning
• go visiting once a week
• Get house "hospitality ready"
• work on being more "faithful"

Family

• Be more consistent with "Bible Bedtime"
• pay off debt
• watch less tv
• find ways to serve neighbors/community
• be more intentional about family prayer times
• be more consistent with family Bible reading together
• Utilize a bulletin board for prayer lists/calendar/Fancher Central
• More physical activity together

Mothering

•  more consistent with routines
• organize/decorate kids rooms so they're easier to keep clean
• less yelling and more patience, joy and fun
• provide more opportunities for creativity
• be more intentional about prayer for kids
• be more intentional in relationship building/"quality time"
• be more "faithful" or dependable

Marriage

• dates once a week
• be more intentional about expressing appreciation and respect
• be more joyful and complain less

Do you have any goals for this year? I'd love to hear them!!

Tough Times Call For Tough Decisions

I was born in a little "Indian" clinic in Cuba, New Mexico--a little town about 80 miles northwest of Albuquerque. We didn't actually live in Cuba. In fact, we didn't live in any town at all. We lived in the (literal) middle of nowhere...they hadn't even run electric or telephone lines and we didn't have indoor plumbing. My parents moved there to do mission work.

My favorite picture of my mom (which has mysteriously disappeared) is one of her standing over a washboard scrubbing clothes...because in 1982 they didn't have electricity and thus no washing machine. They had put the washboard on the tailgate of a pick up truck so she wouldn't have to bend over her swollen belly.The best part of the picture is the enormous smile on her face.

You would have thought that a pregnant woman, living in the middle of nowhere, who didn't have the most basic luxuries (like using an indoor bathroom instead of an outhouse) that all of her friends had  would not have many reasons to smile. But she did. Because what we have and where we live does not determine who we are or our level of contentment.

Sometimes I moan and bellyache because life isn't easy or because other people's lives seem easier than mine. But you know what? It's the hard moments, the crunch times, the days where I just don't understand how I'm gonna make it through that change me the most.

When I finally buckle down and realize that I have a choice, I can approach the situation with a sense of adventure and watch as God blesses me with creativity and a learning experience...setting me up to be better prepared in the future...OR I can dig my heels in and resist every inch of the way and be just as overwhelmed the next time.

Tough decision?! Believe it or not, sometimes in the moment it IS a tough decision for me...because my flesh wants to play the victim. But when I make the decision in advance it's not a difficult decision at all and I go into the situation with a sense of adventure and creativity so the tough moments don't seem so tough.

God is good!!

Here's My Sign

Several times lately I've seen presentations where a group of sinners who've been saved by God's grace express the change that God has made in their lives with a sign. On one side they put some representation of their old self and on the other they express how Jesus changed them. You know...kind of like a before and after picture.

Well, after witnessing this I started to wonder what MY before/after sign would look like.

Well, honestly, I think I'd need WAY more than ONE sign...because I am very much a "chief of sinners". But for the sake of transparency and my desire to share with you the awesome power of God...here's my sign(s)...

If you're too disgusted to keep reading, please don't stop there...because the disgustingness of THAT makes the gloriousness of the NEXT part even more amazing...

I have been washed in the blood of Jesus and I am saved by the grace of God.

I am forever changed by the love of Jesus. I am not what I once was. Not because I'm "good" now, but because HE is ALWAYS good...and by His power and through His Spirit I am changed.

My cup runneth over.