He Called Me Anyway

As much of a miracle as it is that Michael and I have survived the events since our marriage, it's even MORE of  a miracle that we ended up together at all.

Cause see, I broke up with him 7 times.

Yes, you read that correctly. Seven. Times.

Every time he would brokenheartedly want to know why and sometimes it wouldn't even last until the end of the phone call. But yes, seven times. And I'm not sure that we even counted the 'break-ups' that only lasted ten minutes. So it could technically be more than that. But let's not split any hairs.

We never fought, it wasn't that we broke up in the heat of an argument...I honestly just wanted him to marry me and it seemed like he was NEVER going to...so I broke up with him.

The funny part of all of this is that he's since told me that every time he started saving for an engagement ring, I broke up with him so he'd go and spend whatever he'd saved.

Have I mentioned how flaky I can be? I'm working on it!

The thing, and my favorite part of this story, is that even after the tearful break ups...he always called me again. And every single time I was shocked that he still wanted to be my friend.

He didn't nag me or beg me to recant...he was just my friend. He made me feel safe and protected and, without fail, I always came crawling back.

Honestly, looking back I can't imagine why in the world he didn't run screaming from me and never talk to me again. But he didn't.

And guess what? He's still my safe place. He knows all of my dirty little secrets, he knows what a wretch I am and all the horrible things I've done and not only does he love me anyway, but he doesn't even bring them up when he's mad at me!

I think he's a keeper!

If I Knew I Couldn't Fail

A few sessions back my life coach asked me, "if you knew you couldn't fail, what would you do?" Of course, she was asking in a short term, what-would-I-do-in-the-next-week kind of way but it got me thinking in a more wild, willy nilly way about what I would do. So here's my list...I'll not pretend it's exhaustive but these are things I have a desire to do...some are fairly realistic and some are things I know will probably never happen. Without further adieu....

1.  Write a cookbook. The thought of spending hours and hours and hours creating, testing and compiling recipes in book form is enthralling to me.

2.  Cook Sunday dinner every Sunday and invite tons of random people without regard to their economic status or level of cleanliness.

3.  Run a marathon.

4.  Write a regular book. I have no idea what I would write about or anything...I think it would just be fun to write!

5.  Rent a beach house and invite some girlfriends to spend a weekend with me...pay for flights and all of that as well.

6.  Go to culinary school.

7.  Start a bluegrass band.

8.  Become a midwife.

9. Move to a developing country and help women have healthy and successful pregnancies and births.

10.  Get a career and work while Michael goes to school...so he wouldn't have to do both at the same time.

11.  Read a parenting book and live it out perfectly, without exception.

12.  Completely cut out processed foods and junk food from my kids diet.


Yeah I think that's enough for now.

If you knew you couldn't fail, what would you do?

Betty Crocker's Ugly Step Sister

I admit it. If Betty Crocker were a real person and she had an ugly step sister, I'm pretty sure it would be me.

She'd be her lovely self creating beautiful culinary wonders in the kitchen...she'd never have flour on her face, dress or in her hair.

And then there'd be me, looking over her shoulder in a cloud of flour...hair a mess and streaked with flour...trying to learn her secrets...and failing miserably!

Last week I made my first successful batch of from-scratch biscuits. After two other attempts I finally got it right. They were light and fluffy and delicious. Of course, now I'll have to remember how I did it...which is just as likely as it was that I'd create something edible in the first place!

Of course, if I'd just followed a recipe in the first place I probably could have gotten it right the first time...but when I do that I feel like I've cheated and am a fraud for accepting compliments.

I love understanding the 'why' behind a recipe. I love going into the kitchen and understanding how different ingredients work and putting them together to create something yummy.

It's funny though, while I typically am disappointed when something doesn't work, it's almost as exciting as when it does work. Because then I get to figure out WHY it didn't work, and go into the kitchen better prepared to produce the desired result.

Don't get me wrong, I do use recipes. There aren't enough hours in the day or ingredients on the shelf to experiment 24/7. And when more than just my sweet, little, compassionate family is going to be eating it I get all self conscious and usually search out a recipe...unless I've made my own a bazillion times and my family has assured me that it is ready for public consumption!

I recently went on a trek to find a good vanilla cake recipe and so far, this is it! I also recently made this chocolate cake with the referenced frosting. While it was good, it wasn't the best chocolate cake I've ever had. But it was quick and easy and the frosting (which was just a simple buttercream) was yum!

Last week, I went in search of a cookie recipe that I already had the ingredients for. I didn't find any, so I went in the kitchen, got out the ingredients I was willing to use and set out to make a shortbread cookie. It didn't really turn out that way, they were more like sugar cookies, but I'm determined to get it right eventually! And I had a fabulous time tossing the ingredients in like a mad scientist!

What do you LOVE doing? Are you good at it? What do you love about it?

Setbacks

Last week when I walked into my Weight Watcher's meeting, I knew it was going to be bad. I had forgotten to take my thyroid meds for several days in a row. So not only was my metabolism messed up, I was an emotional wreck.

After several setbacks, an unhealthy and heaping dose of beating myself up for my lack of self control, I gave up.

I stopped trying.

I didn't track or even try to control myself. I even decided to put off going to a meeting. I made myself a completely unreasonable diet and exercise plan and decided to go to a meeting later in the week.

I went to bed on Monday night planning to NOT go to my meeting.

Well, I guess at some point in the night my subconscious convinced my conscious of how ridiculous all of this was. I startled awake on Tuesday morning, jumped up out of bed, got dressed and went to my meeting.

I'd love to be able to tell you that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But it was. It was every bit as bad as I was afraid it might be. I gained. 7 pounds.

Oh, it hurt. It hurt bad. I cried the ugly cry and had to leave immediately because I couldn't see or talk. (By leave, I mean I stumbled out to my car, but didn't drive anywhere until I was calm enough to see again.)

But I have to say, I'm glad I went.

Because guess what?! Success doesn't mean never failing. It means getting back up after we do. Because we're human. We are going to fail. Repeatedly.


Perfect just isn't in our repertoire. But growth is.

To grow we have to learn. And sometimes to learn, we have to fail.

"A setback is the perfect setup for a comeback"

Are you behind on your Bible reading plan?

Did you give up on healthy eating or exercising months ago?

Tempted to give up on a goal because it seems like you're not getting anywhere?

Don't give up! Whatever setback you're facing could be a stepping stone to success!

Face it, own it, learn what you can and start fresh!