Wherein I Solve the Mystery of Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Until this afternoon, I had never ridden a scooter.

When I first stepped on I was shocked at how easy it wasn't. Well, I guess I should say it wasn't as easy as I had always assumed it was.

I got the hang of it pretty quickly though and before long I was flying down hills...announcing my joy to the world with shrieks of laughter.

It was all fun and games.

Until I realized that I didn't know where the brake was.

I desperately searched for the brake while still attempting to keep my balance, until the scooter went one way and I went the other.

For a split second, I was completely air born.

As I flew threw the air I caught a glimpse of a middle aged man passing by...staring...laughing. And he may or may not have been holding a camera.

And then I hit the ground, realized I wasn't hurt and Nathaniel revoked my scooter riding privileges.

And this, my friends, is why we can't have nice things.

The End.

Uriah demonstrating proper scooter riding technique.

Thirteen Essential Kitchen Tools for Starter Cooks

As a young person, in charge of my own kitchen, I was overwhelmed by all of the kitchen gadgets out there. It's kind of hard to know what is actually helpful and what just ends up taking up space.

There are a few things to take into consideration when registering or just deciding what you need in your kitchen:

1.  How much space do you have? Do you have a lot of storage space, or just a little?

2.  How much cooking experience do you have? If you've never cooked in your life, the basics will get you started and as you become more experienced you can collect more specialized items.

3.  What will be practical? If you're moving into a one bedroom apartment, it might be kind of silly to register for 12 place settings of china. Maybe one or two would be more practical (I think it would be fun to get two place settings at the beginning and add to it on each anniversary...you could even pick a new pattern each time!). Or maybe you have absolutely no use or desire for fine china!

Okay, so without further adieu, here are what I consider to be essential kitchen tools for beginner cooks...

1.   Mixing bowls.  I think this is pretty self explanatory. You use them to mix things up.

If you don't have a lot of storage space, serving bowls can double as mixing bowls. My mom had something very similar to this while I was growing up.

Except hers were 70s, pea green. We used them for everything! I made countless batches of chocolate chip cookies in them...and we served countless dishes to company in them. They work. If you work them. :)

2.  A hand mixer. So you can mix things up. Cause things need to be mixed up.

You can use it to whipped mashed potatoes or make yummy cookies or cakes.

3.  A skillet. There are debates on what types to use. Some say nonstick. Some say stainless steel, and still others say cast iron. Do your research and decide for yourself. We all have different priorities and information means different things to different people.

Whatever you decide, decide on quality. Don't go for cheap. They warp and don't cook evenly. Invest in your family and in your sanity and go for the good stuff.

4.  A saucepan. Again, do your research and decide what fits with your needs and lifestyle.

5.  A cookie sheet. To make lots of yummy cookies! Sheet pans also work well as cookie sheets, so it might be nice to have one of each. I personally don't care for stoneware for cookie baking. I prefer stoneware for pizza and casseroles.


6. A 9x13 baking dish. You can bake cakes and casseroles in them. There are tons of uses for them. Piece of advice...Pam is not for baking...when you put it in the oven it creates a sticky coat on your bake ware that can be extremely difficult to remove.

7.  A cheese grater. So you can grate cheese that doesn't have that gross cellulose stuff on it. Seriously, freshly grated cheese is yummier. A fine grater is used for hard cheeses like Parmesan. A course grater is typically used for softer cheeses like cheddar.

8.  Knives. Good ones. The ones that can cut your fingers off VERY easily. But here's the thing. Good knives are an investment. An investment that is worth making. If you need to gradually collect them, choose a multipurpose knife to start out with.

But if you choose to make this investment, take care of them. Read the instructions and properly care for them so that your investment will pay off. Good knives will last a lifetime (some of them are guaranteed to!).

9.  Measuring cups and spoons. So you can properly measure stuff.

10.  A colander. So you can drain liquid off of noodles, potatoes and grease off of meat.

11.  Wooden spoons. For stirring stuff. Cause you know, you're gonna need to stir stuff.

12.  Spatulas for baking. And spatulas for flipping things and scraping the bottom and sides of your skillets. For stirring stuff and scraping the sides of bowls and pans to incorporate ingredients properly!

13.   Cutting boards. So you don't scratch the surface of your table or counter top with your super duper sharp knives! The thing with these is that you probably should have more than one. It's not wise to cut up raw meat and veggies on the same cutting board. Cause who wants their veggies marinating in raw chicken juice, right?!

Okay, so I'm sure I've left things off. What do YOU think are essential kitchen items for a beginner cook? And specific products you recommend?

Beginner Cooking Know-How

I say "Beginner" because I'm barely even qualified to teach a beginner and most of these are obvious to seasoned cooks.

Okay, so to be honest I'm pretty sure my mom and Grandma tried to teach me all of these things. But for some reason I didn't listen and ended up having to learn the hard way.

1.  Read. the. entire. recipe. before you start. Okay, so a lot of recipes rely on the chemical reactions of the ingredients to produce the desired end result. Sometimes that means letting something sit overnight or doing things in a certain order. If you don't read the entire recipe you may find yourself in a bind and unable to complete the recipe or complete it incorrectly and getting a less than desirable result.

2.  Get out all of your ingredients before you start. Or at least make sure you have them all. I do like to get them all out in the beginning though. If the recipe contains different sections you can get your ingredients out in sections. But put them away as you use them. That way when you're done you won't have as big of a mess to clean up.

It can also be helpful to measure everything out before you start.

3.  If you have the opportunity to create a registry (whether for a housewarming or wedding or just because you want to)...first determine what tools you will most likely have use and room for and then do research about which ones will serve your family best. Sometimes the cheap Walmart version will serve the best, sometimes the high end kitchen store option will serve best. Be willing to invest in your role of "keeper of the home".  Having good tools will make life easier and make you more likely to enjoy being in the kitchen, or at least get you out of there faster!

4. If you have a dishwasher, unload it before you start cooking and load it as you go. That way when you're done you don't have a sink full of dishes. If you don't have a dishwasher, fill the sink with hot, soapy water and at least put the dirty dishes in it as you go.

5.  Margarine is NOT butter.

6.  Be a learner.  Don't be offended when your mom, grandma or mother-in-law takes over something you're doing...take it as an opportunity to watch and learn and hone your skill. Ask them questions and really listen when they answer. Then take that knowledge and apply in it in your own unique way. And who knows?! After you've gathered the wisdom and knowledge of a few women (or men), you may be able to combine the pros and cons of each method and blow them all away with your culinary prowess!

So there you go. I know I didn't cover everything that could be covered...I didn't want to overwhelm you all with my vast culinary knowledge (liar, liar pants on fire!). Juuuust kidding!

What do you consider to be essential cooking knowledge to a beginner?

He Called Me Anyway

As much of a miracle as it is that Michael and I have survived the events since our marriage, it's even MORE of  a miracle that we ended up together at all.

Cause see, I broke up with him 7 times.

Yes, you read that correctly. Seven. Times.

Every time he would brokenheartedly want to know why and sometimes it wouldn't even last until the end of the phone call. But yes, seven times. And I'm not sure that we even counted the 'break-ups' that only lasted ten minutes. So it could technically be more than that. But let's not split any hairs.

We never fought, it wasn't that we broke up in the heat of an argument...I honestly just wanted him to marry me and it seemed like he was NEVER going to...so I broke up with him.

The funny part of all of this is that he's since told me that every time he started saving for an engagement ring, I broke up with him so he'd go and spend whatever he'd saved.

Have I mentioned how flaky I can be? I'm working on it!

The thing, and my favorite part of this story, is that even after the tearful break ups...he always called me again. And every single time I was shocked that he still wanted to be my friend.

He didn't nag me or beg me to recant...he was just my friend. He made me feel safe and protected and, without fail, I always came crawling back.

Honestly, looking back I can't imagine why in the world he didn't run screaming from me and never talk to me again. But he didn't.

And guess what? He's still my safe place. He knows all of my dirty little secrets, he knows what a wretch I am and all the horrible things I've done and not only does he love me anyway, but he doesn't even bring them up when he's mad at me!

I think he's a keeper!

If I Knew I Couldn't Fail

A few sessions back my life coach asked me, "if you knew you couldn't fail, what would you do?" Of course, she was asking in a short term, what-would-I-do-in-the-next-week kind of way but it got me thinking in a more wild, willy nilly way about what I would do. So here's my list...I'll not pretend it's exhaustive but these are things I have a desire to do...some are fairly realistic and some are things I know will probably never happen. Without further adieu....

1.  Write a cookbook. The thought of spending hours and hours and hours creating, testing and compiling recipes in book form is enthralling to me.

2.  Cook Sunday dinner every Sunday and invite tons of random people without regard to their economic status or level of cleanliness.

3.  Run a marathon.

4.  Write a regular book. I have no idea what I would write about or anything...I think it would just be fun to write!

5.  Rent a beach house and invite some girlfriends to spend a weekend with me...pay for flights and all of that as well.

6.  Go to culinary school.

7.  Start a bluegrass band.

8.  Become a midwife.

9. Move to a developing country and help women have healthy and successful pregnancies and births.

10.  Get a career and work while Michael goes to school...so he wouldn't have to do both at the same time.

11.  Read a parenting book and live it out perfectly, without exception.

12.  Completely cut out processed foods and junk food from my kids diet.


Yeah I think that's enough for now.

If you knew you couldn't fail, what would you do?

Betty Crocker's Ugly Step Sister

I admit it. If Betty Crocker were a real person and she had an ugly step sister, I'm pretty sure it would be me.

She'd be her lovely self creating beautiful culinary wonders in the kitchen...she'd never have flour on her face, dress or in her hair.

And then there'd be me, looking over her shoulder in a cloud of flour...hair a mess and streaked with flour...trying to learn her secrets...and failing miserably!

Last week I made my first successful batch of from-scratch biscuits. After two other attempts I finally got it right. They were light and fluffy and delicious. Of course, now I'll have to remember how I did it...which is just as likely as it was that I'd create something edible in the first place!

Of course, if I'd just followed a recipe in the first place I probably could have gotten it right the first time...but when I do that I feel like I've cheated and am a fraud for accepting compliments.

I love understanding the 'why' behind a recipe. I love going into the kitchen and understanding how different ingredients work and putting them together to create something yummy.

It's funny though, while I typically am disappointed when something doesn't work, it's almost as exciting as when it does work. Because then I get to figure out WHY it didn't work, and go into the kitchen better prepared to produce the desired result.

Don't get me wrong, I do use recipes. There aren't enough hours in the day or ingredients on the shelf to experiment 24/7. And when more than just my sweet, little, compassionate family is going to be eating it I get all self conscious and usually search out a recipe...unless I've made my own a bazillion times and my family has assured me that it is ready for public consumption!

I recently went on a trek to find a good vanilla cake recipe and so far, this is it! I also recently made this chocolate cake with the referenced frosting. While it was good, it wasn't the best chocolate cake I've ever had. But it was quick and easy and the frosting (which was just a simple buttercream) was yum!

Last week, I went in search of a cookie recipe that I already had the ingredients for. I didn't find any, so I went in the kitchen, got out the ingredients I was willing to use and set out to make a shortbread cookie. It didn't really turn out that way, they were more like sugar cookies, but I'm determined to get it right eventually! And I had a fabulous time tossing the ingredients in like a mad scientist!

What do you LOVE doing? Are you good at it? What do you love about it?

Setbacks

Last week when I walked into my Weight Watcher's meeting, I knew it was going to be bad. I had forgotten to take my thyroid meds for several days in a row. So not only was my metabolism messed up, I was an emotional wreck.

After several setbacks, an unhealthy and heaping dose of beating myself up for my lack of self control, I gave up.

I stopped trying.

I didn't track or even try to control myself. I even decided to put off going to a meeting. I made myself a completely unreasonable diet and exercise plan and decided to go to a meeting later in the week.

I went to bed on Monday night planning to NOT go to my meeting.

Well, I guess at some point in the night my subconscious convinced my conscious of how ridiculous all of this was. I startled awake on Tuesday morning, jumped up out of bed, got dressed and went to my meeting.

I'd love to be able to tell you that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But it was. It was every bit as bad as I was afraid it might be. I gained. 7 pounds.

Oh, it hurt. It hurt bad. I cried the ugly cry and had to leave immediately because I couldn't see or talk. (By leave, I mean I stumbled out to my car, but didn't drive anywhere until I was calm enough to see again.)

But I have to say, I'm glad I went.

Because guess what?! Success doesn't mean never failing. It means getting back up after we do. Because we're human. We are going to fail. Repeatedly.


Perfect just isn't in our repertoire. But growth is.

To grow we have to learn. And sometimes to learn, we have to fail.

"A setback is the perfect setup for a comeback"

Are you behind on your Bible reading plan?

Did you give up on healthy eating or exercising months ago?

Tempted to give up on a goal because it seems like you're not getting anywhere?

Don't give up! Whatever setback you're facing could be a stepping stone to success!

Face it, own it, learn what you can and start fresh!

What I'm Learning About Listening

Part of being a good friend, or a safe person, is being a good listener. So as part of my desire to be a good friend and a compassionate person, I am working on being a good listener.

Listening is so much more involved than just standing in someone's vicinity while they speak. It starts way before the conversation. It starts in my heart.

Because listening, really listening requires selflessness. It requires me setting myself and my own thoughts aside and really hearing what the speaker is trying to say without my own judgements and suppositions. It is impossible to really listen and hear what someone is saying if I am inserting my own assumptions and judgements into what they are saying. Instead of hearing what they're saying I'm hearing what I think they are saying. And that's not really hearing them at all.

So here's what I'm learning about listening...

1.) Really listen. Look the speaker in the eye. It really is important. It lets them know that my focus is on them. And it reminds me where my focus should be.

2.) Really listen. Don't think about other things.

3.) Really listen. Care about the speaker more than myself. Care more about them than my own opinions and what I think about what they're saying. Reserve all judgments and analyzations for later. Listen to understand what they're saying, not to judge it.

4.) Really listen. Listen to what they're saying instead of forming my own response. I can't form an appropriate and wise response before I've really listened to what they're saying.

5.) Really listen. Respond to the mood of what they're saying with your body language. If what they're saying is happy and exciting, show a happy and exciting response with your body. If what they're saying is painful and sad, respond in that way. Basically, rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn (huh! Where have I heard that before??)

:) Did you notice a pattern? It really all just comes down to really listening. Not pretending to listen. Not making a grocery list or thinking of all the reasons the speaker is a kook and trying to form my exhortation about why what they're saying is wrong. What they're saying may be wrong...and it may need to be corrected but interrupting them to do it sends the message that I think that what they are saying is so stupid that I can't bear to listen to it a second longer, and that what I have to say is more important than what they are saying. And guess what?! Nobody deserves to be made to feel that way! I certainly say a lot of stupid things that God shouldn't have to listen to, but He does anyway.  And that amazing grace should spill out of my life and onto every person I come into contact with. Even the ones who say things I don't like.

God is good, and with Him all things are possible! Praise God for His mercy and grace!

Have you ever been misunderstood or interrupted? How did it make you feel? Have you ever misunderstood someone because you didn't listen well? Have you ever been so anxious to interject your own idea that you interrupted someone who was talking? How did they respond and how do you think they might have felt?

Proverbs 1:5
Proverbs 12:18
James 1:19
Romans 12:15

God made you wonderful! So go live out your potential!

"Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it!"

If you enjoyed this post, or benefited from it in any way, would you consider sharing it with a friend?

This, or Something Better?

I guess I've mentioned before that I've been on a big fat plateau for like 9 months now.

Not because the plan doesn't work. And when I say "the plan" I mean eat healthy in general and exercising.

The plateau is partly a result of my wacky thyroid, and partly me allowing the hard moments to steer me off course.

So I've been working with an awesome and very talented life coach to get me back on track. And let me tell you, yesterdays session was A. MAZING! She did this little exercise to help me figure out what my top 5 reasons for wanting to get to my goal weight are. When we finished she repeated it all back to me like I was saying it to myself and had me in a puddle of tears.

After the call she sent me an email that she's asked me to post all over my "world". On the fridge, on the pantry doors, on the bathroom mirror, in the car...everywhere to remind myself of what I'm doing. And at the end she included a little phrase to help me put it all into focus. This (food, or whatever momentary pleasure is getting in the way of my working toward my goals), or something better?

When I'm working toward a goal...sometimes it's hard to deny myself momentary pleasures for the hope of something better. Sometimes I think that one little thing won't matter...or I convince myself that it's not working anyway...so what's the point of denying myself?!


In those moments, it helps to remind of myself of what I'm ultimately trying to achieve and how it will feel to achieve it. To remember that God is on my side and He's working for me and in me to accomplish His dreams for me.

So, without further adieu...here's my list...

My Most Important Reasons

for Wanting to Reach my Weight Goal

·     I want to be healthy so that I can feel good and take care of my family
·     I want to be a healthy role model for my family and friends
·     I want to finish what I started
·     I want to have the confidence to pursue other dreams
·     I want to be able to help and encourage others to reach their goals
This (bag of cookies, cake batter, milk shake or whatever it is I'm craving in the moment), or something better!

I think I'll go with something better!

How about you? This, or something better? 

What's your something better? What are your reasons for wanting to reach your goals? How will it feel to achieve them? Is there something you might need to deny yourself in order to achieve them?

I Want to Ride My Bicycle

♫♪I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike. I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride it where I like♫♪

So to save us some dough...I've been riding my bike around town to perform various errands and tasks that can be done within a reasonable distance.

For most of my errands I have two route options. The first contains a fairly steep hill. The second is completely flat but out of the way. 

So typically I talk myself into taking the hill route. I think about the extra effort I'll have to put into biking up the hill and the extra calories I can burn in the process. 

So as I bike on my merry little way, I anticipate the hill. I pedal faster and get a good pace going so that when I hit the hill I'll have a good head start so the hill won't be so much work.

But the thing is, no matter how fast I pedal in anticipation of the hill, about halfway up the hill it gets hard. Every revolution of my tires is a chore. The muscles in my legs start burning like crazy and it takes all of my focus to gain even an inch of ground.

It's at this point that I start thinking about how I should have taken the longer, but much flatter route. It hurts. It's painful and I don't like it. In that moment I couldn't possibly care less about how many calories I'm burning or the benefits to my body. All I know is that it hurts, and I don't like it.

And then I reach the top. I reach the top and head down the other side. 

The pain is gone, the wind in my hair, my heart soars and I imagine that I'm flying.

And you know what? When I'm flying down that hill I am thankful that I didn't take the flatter route. And that moment of thankfulness and the utter bliss I feel in that moment informs my decision the next time I have to decide which route to take.

In life, we have choices. We can take the flat, apathetic route that takes little to no gumption to get through...or we can take a chance on the hard route that will provoke growth. 

But the thing is, no matter how much we prepare for the difficult moments, sometimes things just get hard. They get hard and we just have to keep pedaling. It hurts and it's not pleasant, but we keep going. 

And eventually we get to the top. 

Are you facing an uphill battle? Are things tough for you right now? Is it all you can do to get out of bed in the morning? 

Don't give up! You're almost to the top! Just keep pedaling! You can do it!

Let me know if there's something I can do to encourage you! Or pray for you about!

Holding Back the Floodwaters

I am always intrigued by other peoples homes. Seeing or being inside someone else's home is like a little glimpse into their souls. You can learn a lot about people just by being inside their home.

It's difficult for me not to get caught up in comparison. Not because I'm jealous of their material possessions, but because I feel so behind.

Yes, when you come into my home you can learn a lot about me, but what you learn about me is not what I want to be true.

It's like when you're paying off debt. You may no longer be that irresponsible person who created those debts, but you still have to pay them. And sometimes it feels defeating.

Our living room is half painted, the bathroom is covered in a variety of paint colors because my daughter thought the bathroom should give a preview of the paint colors in all the other rooms. I feel like my housekeeping efforts are like a rickety dam with a crack in it, barely holding back the flood waters.

If you stop by my house unannounced, it's very likely that I won't let you in because my house is a mess.

To be honest, I do see areas of growth. I do have a laundry pile, but I'm pretty sure I could get it all done in one day...which is a huge improvement upon years past.
I feel like I'm missing something. Other women who are my age and at my approximate stage of life have clean, decorated, homey homes. And I want that desperately. But I feel like I'm missing some chip in my brain that renders me incapable of that. Not because God didn't give me that "chip" but because I broke it somehow.  And I honestly have no idea how to fix it.

I know that I'm probably going to get some emails asking if I'm okay, and I am okay. I probably just need a hug. But the only person I've seen today is the FedEx man and it seemed a little out of his job description and kind of inappropriate to hug him! :)

Okay, I'm going to go reinforce the flood gates so maybe the dam won't break today. :) Pray for me?

Exhibit A

Being the mom of five wild indians makes my life interesting.

Exhibit A:

Yesterday I loaded them all into our Wild Indian Wagon and stopped to get gas.

Apparently our local fillin' station has had problems with people leaving the pump nozzles clicked down and spilling gas everywhere so they took the little whatchamacallits that hold the trigger on the nozzle down off. And a 47 gallon tank  takes a while to fill when you've run the tank purty near empty.

Meanwhile...back at the ranch...err...back inside the Wild Indian Wagon...my very wild Wild Indians decided to reenact Custer's Last Stand...on a very small scale since I'm pretty sure Custer and the Native Americans had a much larger space to battle it out in than the backseat of a Suburban.

I'm pretty sure you couldn't get hydraulics to make that thang move in the way it was moving. For reals...you know in cartoons when a group of kids gets into a fight and all you see is a cloud? There's a reason for that. The person who came up with that must have had five wild indians too.

So I stood there pumping gas, pretending to ignore the commotion inside the vehicle...which was pretty difficult since I was leaning up against it.

And believe me, people were staring. But, being the mother of five wild indians, it's a pretty common occurrence around these here parts.

All of this is going on and the guy at the next pump decides it's a good time to strike up a conversation. He asks me about the kids, acts shocked when I tell him how many there are and that, yes! they are ALL mine.

And then he hit on me. I don't know if he's crazy, desperate or if he just thought any woman with that many kids could probably use a boost. I don't know. He promptly left.

After what seemed like a million years at the time, I finished filling the tank, and got back into the car expecting for the refereeing part of my job to commence but...

Somehow they had reached a truce. They were happy as larks. They were sweaty and disheveled but you'd have never known they had just fought the battle of the century. I don't even know what the battle was about and I doubt they remember either.

I'm sure that all the people at that gas station thought I was a horrible mother for not interrupting their fight...and maybe I am. But I think it's nice for them to work things out themselves...to either figure out a way to solve the problem or just decide it isn't worth it. Because, let's be honest, I won't always be there to do that for them. When they grow up and have a spouse...mama definitely can't step in and solve the problem. It's all them and Jesus! So I might as well save myself some energy and give them a chance to practice!

Errr....or something like that! That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

Something Worth Fighting For

Confession: I'm a drama queen.

So Michael works full time and goes to school full time. And he's a music major...and if you don't know why that would make matters different, bless you!

Anyway, so I really only see him in passing from Tuesday morning until Sunday (he literally comes in, showers, changes clothes and leaves again).

Thursdays are particularly lonely for me and I always think of this line from Cold Mountain, "If you are fighting, stop fighting. If you are marching, stop marching. Come back to me. Come back to me is my request." I am particularly awful at accents of any sort so even though I say it in my best southern belle accent...I'll spare you.

And then I imagine myself as a delicate southern belle (even though in real life I'd be more suited for the role of Ruby Thewes) at home keeping house, waiting for my soldier who's off fighting some heroic battle. I imagine him reading those words and  walking on beaches and over mountains, eating crawdads and goat meat, being nursed by some old lady with bitter herbs, walking through snow and ice, moving heaven and earth to get back to me...

until finally I hear the roar of a motorcycle engine pull into our driveway.

My soldier is home.

I know, he's not out fighting a literal battle. But he is fighting. He is fighting for our family.

The best part is that he gets to come home often enough so that neither one of us forgets what he's fighting for. Because that's important. There are no deserters here, no giving up because we can't remember what we're fighting for.

This is real. We are real. We aren't perfect but we are redeemed. Redeemed by a fierce God who has fought the battle of the ages and won.

Because this is something worth fighting for.

Stepping Out in Real Life

I did something a little bit crazy today.

For the past three years my kids and I have spotted the most interesting sight around our town.

A man. Riding a unicycle. And while a man riding a unicycle is quite common and very ordinary at the circus...it's rather exciting and extraordinary on an ordinary day, in an ordinary town, on an ordinary street.

Photo Credit: Ken Looi, Universal Unicyclist

The first time we saw him, his unicycle was bicycle height off the ground, and over the last three years we've watched him rise higher and higher.

A few weeks ago, I decided that I would love to talk to this man. Unfortunately, I had no idea who he was and couldn't find anyone who DID. So I concluded that I'd have to catch him when he wasn't posed on top of a unicycle to talk to him, because I don't want to kill him by asking him his name.

**:) I apologize for my ignorance, I have since learned that it is possible and even not that hard to talk to someone while (uni)cycling. In fact, I found a video of this guy doing just that...down Lombard Street in San Francisco! Oh well! I guess my ignorance makes this story even more ridiculous! Have a laugh at my expense!**

So today while I was headed out to get gas, I spotted him.

Then I looked in the mirror. Gag me! I hadn't showered and was dressed in lazy housewife attire, complete with no shoes and no makeup. Believe me, I was a sight to behold. But, I decided that if I saw him on my way back that I would take it as a dare.

Fast forward to around 20 minutes later...

I had pretty much forgotten about him, but on my way back home, I spotted him carrying his unicycle. I had a small window of opportunity to catch him and not put his life in danger to speak to him.

So I parked the car, pulled my "business" cards out of my purse and began chasing the man down. (okay...here's the picture...imagine the unkept woman described above, plus the 6 inch mismatched wedges I found in the back of my van from when i took them off and never carried them into the house, running down the street shouting "sir! sir!" It was a sight to behold...let me tell ya!)

He stopped! I asked him if I could interview him, I handed him my card, and he very kindly began telling me about places I could find him on internet and a book that he's writing! (Note to self:  before leaving the house, check to make sure you have a writing utensil because when someone is giving you information you need, little plastic men, used tissues and gum are absolutely no help at all.) A unicycle riding lesson may very well be in my future...stay tuned!

So, I gave out my first legitimate business card (it may be the only one I ever have occasion to give out...so this must be celebrated!) and I chased down a random stranger to ask for an interview.

For me, both of those things require stepping out of my comfort zone. And honestly, my comfort zone is a comfortable place, it's kind of somewhere I previously dreaded leaving. But I'll tell ya what, there is almost always some good that comes of getting out of it. I always learn something new or grow in some way. And I think that every time I do it, it gets a little easier to talk myself into doing it the next time.

Have you left your comfort zone lately? Has your unwillingness to step out of your comfort zone kept you from doing something you want to do?

What are your goals for today? What one thing, that might happen to be out of your comfort zone, can you do right now to work toward that goal?

Have an awesome day! And please let me know if there's anything that I can do to encourage or help you work toward a goal!

Use What You've Got, Do What You Love and Learn As You Go!

So guess what?!

I'm pretty sure that every. single. person. reading this can probably write a better blog than me. I'm pretty sure that most of you probably read through my blogs and mentally point out the bazillion grammatical errors that I make in every post.

In every single thing that I do, I know for a fact that there are a bazillion people on Earth that can do it better than me.

And I'll tell you what, that used to (and sometimes still does) stop me from doing them.

But here's the dill, pickles.  Doing things I love to do, even if I'm not very good at them will typically lead to good things (as long as it's all for God's glory because doing drugs...is not a good thing...but I'm pretty sure you knew what I meant).

 First of all...like the old saying goes...practice makes perfect. Not that I will ever be perfect at anything, but I learn from experience. Even if I do whatever it is wrong, I have a better idea of how too do it right. And that's definitely a good thing, right?

Second, I open myself up to be taught by people who are better at it than me. So, if you want to correct my grammar and instruct me about how to do it the right way...maybe I'll make less errors in the future. Which means I have to be humble and open to being taught. There is no room for pride amongst growth.

 Thirdly, by other people seeing me try, it encourages them to try too. Another good thing, right?! Because then you have someone to learn with and two heads are better than one, right?!

So what's my point?

Is there something you want to do but are afraid to try because you know that other people are better (or just as good) at it than you are?  Guess what!? That will always be the case. But there is room in God's plan for you.

Whatever it is...cooking, keeping your home, singing, writing, gardening, losing weight, reading your Bible, starting a new career...don't let fear keep you from doing it. Think you're inadequate? Well maybe you are (I KNOW I am)...all the more glory it will bring to God when He displays his power by accomplishing something awesome in you!

Whether you're a ten talent man or a one talent man...use what you've got, do what you love and learn as you go!

God is awesome. And NOTHING, yes NOTHING, is impossible for HIM.

Attitude Wrinkles

Remember when you were  kid and you had contorted your face into some silly visual concoction and, invariably, an adult said something like...”you better watch out, your face might stick like that”?

That saying came to mind recently as I was pondering how some people seem to be smiling even when they’re not...and others seem to be hiding a frown...even when they’re smiling.

It occurred to me how profoundly that warning applies to my attitude and general approach to life.

“If my attitude, in this moment, got stuck like this...what would life be like?” I’ll tell you that a lot of times the future would not look very bright!

A moment of negativity doesn’t mean I’m a negative person...but moments add up. When it all adds up, what kind of person am I? Am I encouraging others and spurring them on to love and good works? Or am I draining the life out of them?

“You better watch out, your attitude might get stuck like that!”

What goals have you set this week? And what one thing are you doing today to reach that goal? Let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do to encourage you or help you reach your goal!

And remember “tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it!” :)

Who Am I?

When I first began losing weight, I didn't know anyone who had lost the amount of weight I needed to lose, and kept it off.  I scoured the internet and searched Weight Watchers success stories and very few people had lost the amount of weight I needed to lose successfully, and even fewer had kept it off. Even some of the people who won The Biggest Loser had gained all of their weight back!


It seemed impossible that I could be the one.  I mean, if all of these wonderful people hadn't done it, who did I think I was even TRYING to do it?!

So I approached it all with a wary eye. I told myself that I didn't know how far I would make it, but that I was too desperate not to try.

So I took it one day at a time, and the weight began to come off.

Today, I'm down 145 pounds and I have 30 more pounds to go.

After two years and a seven month plateau...I still don't know how far I'm going to make it.

What I do know is that I can "run" a whole lot better without these weights holding me back while I'm running. I know that God loves me and that He is my Savior and the real champion in all of this. I know that I felt hopeless...I WAS hopeless but God took this hopeless girl and turned it all around. And as miserable as I was, He chose just the right moment...anytime before that and I may have mistaken HIS power for my own.

And that, my friends, would have been tragic.

God is so good.

What are you facing that seems hopeless? What are you afraid to try?  And what can I do to encourage you?

God is Bigger than the Boogie Man...and Chocolate Cake

I ran for the first time in a while today. Honestly, I'm not even sure when the last time I ran was. I think it may have been sometime in February.

I'm not saying I've been sedentary...I've done a lot of bike riding and walking...I just haven't ran.

But today I NEEDED to run.

I was having a moment. Actually, I was having several moments right after I ate a large piece of chocolate cake. I was having a moment where I couldn't see the victory at the end of the struggle...where that big ol' piece of cake was kicking my "can-do-attitude" in the boo-tay.

So I put my running clothes on and headed out the door.

The thing is, running is against my nature. It requires a level of faithfulness that I find difficult, sometimes, to muster. It means bounding from one foot to the other...repeatedly...for long periods of time. Which, for an overweight female, can be kind of painful.

But sometimes it's necessary to do hard things, because it's the hard things that change us the most. It's the hard things that show us who we really are, and who God is. Running clears my head...and I typically spend most of the time either praying or mouthing the words to praise songs...both of which do wonders for my soul.

Well today, my run reminded me that God loves me, that He's on my side and that He's bigger than that GINORMOUS piece of chocolate cake!

It was a good run...and I'm excited to head out again tomorrow!

God is so good to me!

Bon Voyage!

So, I gained today. Three. Pounds.

I have to say it is hard to accept. And typically, I scour the past week for what I did wrong. And that's a good thing.

But today, I feel tired. Because after 7 months of doing that and working constantly and then being disappointed, I'm tired.

And so, for this week, I'm taking a break.

Yeah, I'm sure that if I look back I'll find something I could have/should have done differently (although I feel sure NOT three pounds worth). But I just need a break. I need to focus on other things. Because really, this weight loss thing is just a means to an end. 

So this week, I'm not going to focus on losing weight, I'm not going to agonize over my gain and what I need to learn to improve my success this week. I'm going to rest.

I'm going to focus on Jesus and being a mom, a wife, a homemaker, a servant and friend.

Am I going to count points? Yes. Am I going to be active? Yes.

Honestly, my week might not look much different from the outside. The difference may only be on the inside...in my thoughts and in my heart. But I can tell you that I already have felt a weight lifted from my shoulders...even though I have to constantly remind myself to let myself rest.

I don't know what my next weigh-in will hold. But for now, the part of my brain that keeps saying "hey loser! get to your goal weight already! Or at least lose SOMETHING!" is on vacation.

And all I can say is...BON VOYAGE!

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Photo by Alisha Hurt Photography

In my heart, I am an entrepreneur. In my head, I'm an entrepreneur.

When Michael and I were dating we spent hours thinking about how we would love to own a music/book store where half of the store is a shop where Michael spends his days as a luthier...crafting and creating world renowned guitars while visiting with customers and sharing his craft with passersby.

To this day I have a dream of opening a "fruit stand"/bakery where people come for in season fruits, veggies, jams, jellies, various baked goods, comfort, encouragement and love.

I also dream of writing books that encourage and spur people on to love and good works...of speaking to groups of women who need encouragement. Of loving people through the written and spoken word.

I don't know if I will ever really be successful at any of these things. Because I'm learning that God has a plan, and that ultimately, my dream is to be an instrument for His glory.

But I'm also learning that sometimes you have to step out of your boat and trust that even if it doesn't work, Jesus is there to make it all right.

So, while I was making out my "business" cards I was mulling over what to put on them. I don't really have a business and it seemed a little ridiculous to site my toilet cleaning and laundry doing abilities. So, jokingly I told Michael I was going to put "homemaker, writer, motivational speaker". I thought he would laugh it off and suggest something even MORE ridiculous.

But he didn't. He looked at me and said, "You know you do those things, right?"

And so I ended up using those descriptive terms. Not because I think I do those things well, but I do them and I hope to grow in them so that I can eventually do them well.

I guess it seemed like it was time to step out of my boat. So I did.

And there you have it.

God is good!

"The Common Cold of the Soul"

"To sinful patterns of behavior that never get confronted and changed,
Abilities and gives that never get cultivated and deployed--
Until weeks become months
And months turn into years,
And one day you're looking back on a life of
Deep, intimate, gut-wrenchingly, honest conversations you never had;
Great bold prayers you never prayed,
Exhilarating risks you never took,
Sacrificial gifts you never offered
Lives you never touched,
And you're sitting in a recliner with a shriveled soul,
And forgotten dreams,
And you realize there was a world of desperate need,
And a great God calling you to be part of something bigger than yourself--
You see the person you could have become but did not;
You never followed your calling.
You never got out of the boat."
--Gregg Levoy

"A year from now you'll wish you had started today"--I have no idea who originally said this except that it was not me!

So what's it gonna be?! Get up and do something and risk failure and spur growth? Or sit in a recliner talking and planning all the stuff you're gonna do or want to do and never actually get up and DO anything? The choice is yours.

Face your past. Own it. Learn what you can from it. And start fresh.

Just DO it! You CAN do it! Because you can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens you! And His power is made perfect in our weakness.

No matter where you are or where you've been...there is hope for you.

Trying Something New

Sometimes I feel stuck. And sometimes it's necessary to look at what's working and what's not and make the changes to remove the obstacles in the way of growth.

Sometimes it's not that what I'm currently doing is not working, maybe I'm just bored or uninspired.

Every once in a while it's just time to try something new. Even if I fail or don't do well, I learn something new. Usually that I need to learn or practice more.

So far this year I haven't made as much progress on my goals for the year as I would have hoped. So I'm going to try something new.

1.  I'm going to spend a few minutes in the evening assessing the day and planning for the next day.

2.  I'm going to share with you how the day went and what my goals for the next day are and what I'll do differently based on how the day went.

Today I was on the computer too much and didn't get enough done around my house...and didn't do enough to feed my soul.

So here's what I'll change for tomorrow...

"Mom" Goals for tomorrow:

1. No tv
2. Have Bible Bedtime.
3. Spend at least 5 minutes just talking with each kid
4. Do something active with my kids
5. Have dinner at the table together: Hearty Taco Casserole, Salad

Personal Goals for tomorrow:

1.  Have quiet time
2. Spend 15 minutes cleaning each room
3. Run 3-4 miles
4. Fold laundry/put it away 
5. Write. 
6. Start Red Velvet cake.

So there you go...that's what I'll be working on tomorrow!

What's working or NOT working for YOU?! Have you tried anything new lately?

The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.-- Lamentations 3:22-23

Stepping Out of the Boat

The waters roared and the wind swept viciously, tossing the passengers of the ship timorously into the night. Accomplished seamen reduced to fearful wretches.

In the distance, a figure appears. A man. Confused and baffled by this utter disregard for the physical limitations of man, the seamen mistake their Savior for a ghost.

Realizing their mistake, they call out to him. Peter does the unthinkable. He asks to take a stroll with Jesus.

He steps out of the boat and on to the water and begins to walk. For a few minutes, Peter experienced the utter euphoria of water walking.

But then he took his eyes off of his Savior. And in his humanity he began to doubt. Because, the waves were high and the wind was strong and his actions defied everything he had ever known about the sea and about himself.

You know the rest of the story.

Can you imagine the awesomeness of being able to remember and retell about the time you WALKED ON WATER?! That's the stuff of superhero comic books and Hollywood computer graphics!

As humans we tend to focus on the part of the story where we sink. Sometimes we are so afraid of sinking that we don't even bother to get out of the boat in the first place. We are the disciples who, instead of having an awesome experience where we learn the value of trusting and keeping our eyes on Jesus, sit and watch while Peter gets to walk on water and we secretly wish we'd had the courage to do it too!

Yes Peter sunk and you might too. But Peter didn't drown and neither will you.

Whether you want to lose weight and feel like you just can't do it, or you want to try a new career or you want to read your Bible consistently, don't focus on the obstacles, keep your eyes fixed on the goal and take one step at a time. Those steps will add up. And even if you sink a time or two, refocus and start again.

The polio vaccine, the telephone, the phonograph, automobiles, airplanes...if the men who created them had stopped after one try, none of these things would have been invented. They are a culmination of years of trial and error...of learning what didn't work and applying that knowledge to future endeavors.

Whatever your goal is, don't be so afraid of failure that you never even try for the thing you want. God made you and if you have a heartfelt desire, perhaps he put it there for His glory.

What is your goal? And what ONE THING can you do today to move toward that goal?

My Prayer for My Kids

I'm pretty sure there's nothing more painful than having to see your kids in pain. It's tough to witness the hurt and humiliation on their face after being rejected. And as a mother I want to fix it and make it go away. We all want our kids to be happy, healthy and successful. Right?!

I used to pray that my kids would have friends. I used to pray that they would be successful. I used to see a poor or even mediocre performance on a report card as a sign of my own failure (because all the studies show that if you're doing it right you have smart and socially healthy kids, right?!). I used to feel embarrassed and humiliated at church when my kids did something all the other parents were shocked by.

And to be honest, sometimes my initial reaction is still the same.

But I've stopped praying for those things. And I've stopped caring what anyone else thinks of my kids...because we're not here to receive the approval of men and we're even warned to be worried when all men speak well of us. So I've stopped praying for those things and started just praying that God would use them and their circumstances to bring glory to Himself...and that He would mold them into something beautiful for His kingdom. And if that means having to watch them be rejected, fail at school and, by earthly standards, at life and that all the other parents in the world think that me and my kids are poster children for how to get it all wrong...then I trust Him...and I want Him to do whatever it takes.

Because my treasure is in Heaven, and that's exactly where I want my children!

Face it, Own it, Learn What You Can and Start Fresh!

The first time, after I began going to Weight Watchers, that I stepped on the scale to see a gain I was crushed.

The week before I had reached the 40 pound mark and had finally decided to try working out.  Being a fan of the Biggest Loser and hearing other people talk about Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred, I decided to give it a try.

If you've never tried one of Jillian's workout videos...they're tough! Especially for a girl over a hundred pounds overweight.

Every day that week I talked myself into doing the twenty minute workout and I was so excited to see what the scale held in store for me that week!

Well, I stepped on the scale to see a 3 pound GAIN. I admit it...I cried. I cried the ugly cry at the Weight Watchers.

Since then I've had many a gain. Some deserved, and some not. But every gain has taught me something...whether deserved or not.

Some taught me that I'm really not that good at guestimating, some taught me that I really do need to get up off my butt and workout and sometimes you just have to keep on keeping on until the number on the scale gets with the program.

 
I think the most valuable lesson I've learned is in being faithful. Showing up even when it's tough and I have a million excuses to stay home. Rain, shine, loss or gain, every week I show up to face that scale.  I get on that scale, accept the number, own the actions that put it there, learn what I can, let go of the rest and I step off with a clean slate.

Did you make a resolution that you're struggling to keep? Already resigned to failure?! Don't give up! Face it, own it, learn what you can, let it go and start fresh!!! You can do it!!

An Unsure End

This morning on our way to our favorite donut shop I got a brilliant idea!

We pulled up to the shop, I handed Caleb money to pay for the donuts and I sent my five wild indians into the donut shop. Alone. Without me.

I sat in the car...in complete peace and quiet and enjoyed my time immensely...only slightly holding my breath about what the outcome of this "brilliant idea" would be...because "what do you get when you send five wild indians into a donut shop?" sounds like a bad joke that I'd rather not know the punchline to.

A few months ago I read an article about over parenting and was really startled by how much I recognized myself in it. Cause, see, I'm a controller and that tends to make me a 'no' mom because saying yes might lead to a situation I can't control and that's really scary for me.

When I was Caleb's age I was riding my bike all over town running bank and grocery errands for my parents. And while I know that times have changed since then and we probably should be more careful, my over parenting seriously stunts my children's growth in maturity and creativity.

So, I've started weighing whether my inclination to say no is a real concern for their safety or for my own comfort.   And honestly, I have seen them blossom in the last few months. They've made friends, spent more time outside and been more creative. And that really makes me want to give them freedom...because kids need that! And guess what?! I need that too! It's pretty silly how much stress I heap upon myself needlessly!

photo courtesy of Alisha Hurt PHotography

So out of the donut shop they came...with the owner following them. And I'm thinking "oh no! What did they do?!?!"

I opened the car door and stepped out expecting the owner to reprimand me for sending them in alone.

Instead she smiled and told me they were the most well behaved kids she'd ever had in her shop AND she had given them donut holes as a reward for being so good. Ashamedly, I was shocked.

The kids handed me their change and filed into the car full of a sense of accomplishment.  The told me all about their donut shop experience while I silently thanked God for His goodness and felt the slight tinge of conviction for not having more faith in God and in my children.

It was a good day!

Warning! You Get What You Pay For and this Blog Costs You Nothing But Time! :)

It's kind of a cliche to make resolutions this time of year. It's also kind of a cliche for those resolutions to be short lived.

I've honestly never been one to make New Year's resolutions, but I have made a lot of resolutions at varying times of the year...most of which have failed.

But I'll be honest, I've come to love failure almost as much as I love success. Sure, it doesn't feel good to fail...at least not in the moment...and if people are watching...but every time I fail I learn something. I can give you a 101 ways NOT to lose weight (which, let's face it...they really ALL boil down to ONE way)...but it took me failing all of those times to figure out how to do it right.

Here's the thing, I didn't just wake up one morning with the will power to not eat all the donuts in the house. I woke up one morning depressed and feeling hopeless and in that depression and hopelessness I cried out to God and confessed that I couldn't do it on my own and that I need him.

So for what it's worth (and I warned you in the beginning that I don't know anything about anything and this is not a blog you'll be learning much from) here's my two cents on how go about goal/resolution setting:

1.  Seek God's kingdom FIRST. Get our priorities straight...making sure we're setting goals for God's glory and not our own.

2.  Pray. And pray often. Every. Single. Time. you think about your goals or something you want to change or someone you are at odds with or something you're thankful for. Basically, pray without ceasing. (See??? No new information here...I warned you!!!) If it concerns you, pray about it.

3.  Set aside a time of reflection and planning. Go somewhere quiet, wait until your kids are asleep or you can sneak away for a few minutes...relax, treat yourself, pray and set your goals. Think about where you want to be a year from now...and then ask yourself what you can do this week to move toward those goals and set some goals for this week. And then each night before you go to sleep...pray and then think about what you can do the next day to meet your weekly goals.

4.  Be thankful. When even the smallest of goals is achieved thank God. Recognize His power and work in your life and thank Him.

On that note, here are the goals I've set for myself this year:

Personal (I include my spiritual goals in this category)

• get up and have quiet time first thing in the morning
• get to goal weight
• create a functional/fashionable wardrobe 
• avoid self pity--have a positive/joyful attitude specifically about Michael's time away from home
• develop closer friendships
• develop more effective routines for homekeeping
• learn about and implement gardening/canning
• set up specific "work time"/be more intentional about blogging/developing skills/learning
• go visiting once a week
• Get house "hospitality ready"
• work on being more "faithful"

Family

• Be more consistent with "Bible Bedtime"
• pay off debt
• watch less tv
• find ways to serve neighbors/community
• be more intentional about family prayer times
• be more consistent with family Bible reading together
• Utilize a bulletin board for prayer lists/calendar/Fancher Central
• More physical activity together

Mothering

•  more consistent with routines
• organize/decorate kids rooms so they're easier to keep clean
• less yelling and more patience, joy and fun
• provide more opportunities for creativity
• be more intentional about prayer for kids
• be more intentional in relationship building/"quality time"
• be more "faithful" or dependable

Marriage

• dates once a week
• be more intentional about expressing appreciation and respect
• be more joyful and complain less

Do you have any goals for this year? I'd love to hear them!!

Tough Times Call For Tough Decisions

I was born in a little "Indian" clinic in Cuba, New Mexico--a little town about 80 miles northwest of Albuquerque. We didn't actually live in Cuba. In fact, we didn't live in any town at all. We lived in the (literal) middle of nowhere...they hadn't even run electric or telephone lines and we didn't have indoor plumbing. My parents moved there to do mission work.

My favorite picture of my mom (which has mysteriously disappeared) is one of her standing over a washboard scrubbing clothes...because in 1982 they didn't have electricity and thus no washing machine. They had put the washboard on the tailgate of a pick up truck so she wouldn't have to bend over her swollen belly.The best part of the picture is the enormous smile on her face.

You would have thought that a pregnant woman, living in the middle of nowhere, who didn't have the most basic luxuries (like using an indoor bathroom instead of an outhouse) that all of her friends had  would not have many reasons to smile. But she did. Because what we have and where we live does not determine who we are or our level of contentment.

Sometimes I moan and bellyache because life isn't easy or because other people's lives seem easier than mine. But you know what? It's the hard moments, the crunch times, the days where I just don't understand how I'm gonna make it through that change me the most.

When I finally buckle down and realize that I have a choice, I can approach the situation with a sense of adventure and watch as God blesses me with creativity and a learning experience...setting me up to be better prepared in the future...OR I can dig my heels in and resist every inch of the way and be just as overwhelmed the next time.

Tough decision?! Believe it or not, sometimes in the moment it IS a tough decision for me...because my flesh wants to play the victim. But when I make the decision in advance it's not a difficult decision at all and I go into the situation with a sense of adventure and creativity so the tough moments don't seem so tough.

God is good!!

Here's My Sign

Several times lately I've seen presentations where a group of sinners who've been saved by God's grace express the change that God has made in their lives with a sign. On one side they put some representation of their old self and on the other they express how Jesus changed them. You know...kind of like a before and after picture.

Well, after witnessing this I started to wonder what MY before/after sign would look like.

Well, honestly, I think I'd need WAY more than ONE sign...because I am very much a "chief of sinners". But for the sake of transparency and my desire to share with you the awesome power of God...here's my sign(s)...

If you're too disgusted to keep reading, please don't stop there...because the disgustingness of THAT makes the gloriousness of the NEXT part even more amazing...

I have been washed in the blood of Jesus and I am saved by the grace of God.

I am forever changed by the love of Jesus. I am not what I once was. Not because I'm "good" now, but because HE is ALWAYS good...and by His power and through His Spirit I am changed.

My cup runneth over.