The Next Step

She took the next step. 

I read a book recently where the author shared that it takes the brain 5 seconds to start protesting a change in habit. If I want to do something like get up earlier, I should get up when my alarm goes off within that 5 second window, before my brain builds a case that I shouldn't.

I realized that I have used this technique, without framing it in those terms, for a long time. When I'm walking and I don't want to walk another mile, I don't allow myself to dwell on whether or not I want to, I just take the next step. I focus my mind on something else to keep my thoughts from sabotaging my goal. 

But let's be real, there are many times when I forget to use this technique. When I believe I SHOULD do something but my heart isn't really in it, and I create space for my brain to talk me out of it. I tell myself, "I'll start tomorrow", "I won't be able to maintain the change", or "I can't do that".

The thing I've learned from reading biographies: People who do brave things don't do them because they aren't afraid. They are not blessed with a supernatural gift of self assurance. 

Every person I've ever read about who did something wildly brave, constantly questioned themselves. It wasn't one big choice they made to be brave. It was a series of small choices to take the next step. They made the decision right in front of them. Usually while questioning themselves and doubting their ability to actually do the thing. 

When something seems overwhelming, I break it down into smaller pieces. And then I take the first step before my brain starts to protest. Want to exercise? Don't think about how you'll feel while you're exercising. Just put your shoes on. Focus on that and do it. When you're done with that, start a song you love. Focus on that and do it. When you're done with that, open the door. Focus on that and do it. When you're done with that, take a step outside the door. 

Break whatever it is into pieces so small that it isn't at all intimidating. Don't allow your brain to defeat you by jumping 10 steps ahead to what feels overwhelming. Focus on the next step. And the next step. And the next step. 

Eventually all of those steps will add up to the overwhelming thing I felt paralyzed by. That momentum will propel me on to the next thing, and ultimately a life of courage and fulfillment.

Often in scripture God didn't call people who were self assured or an obvious "shoe-in". And he didn't reveal the whole plan all at once. He gave his people as much information as they needed to take the next step. And then the next step, and the next step. His plans are magnificent and eternal. Too big for our minds to grasp, and overwhelming for our finite imaginations. We don't necessarily need the ten point plan. Just the next step.

It comes down to faith. Having faith to take the next step.

What have you put off doing because it seems overwhelming? And what is the next step you can focus on?

Growth as an Expression of God's Beauty

I love beautiful things. People, art, music, nature, food, psychology...the list is endless. I love it all.

The thing all beautiful things have in common? Imperfection. In my opinion, beauty is perfected by flaws. Flaws proclaim uniqueness, reveal intimate details of the journey the object of beauty has taken to arrive where it is in time and space. It allows me to see the world through someone else's point of view. 

Growth is beautiful too. Not just the kind you see. The kind that comes from learning new things. New things that take root in my heart and produce a harvest. 

I feel most fulfilled when - 

• I am learning, growing, and sharing what I've learned and how I've grown. 
• I experience beauty in a new way and I can share it with other people. 

Maybe God put me here to find beauty, learn from it and share it with other people. Maybe. I'm still trying to figure that out. 

The thing I've discovered about learning & growth - I have to want it more than I want comfort, to save face, or be right. It has to matter more than my ego, or my right to place blame. 

It happens exponentially when I intentionally seek it, and live in a posture of openness. Openness to feedback, information and new perspectives. This involves listening without interrupting, and refraining from the instinct to be defensive. Allowing information to come in, without feeling the need to volley it back. It means continually turning toward others, instead of turning away when sparks begin to fly.

Iron doesn't sharpen iron because it's soft and frilly. Sparks fly. There is heat. Friction.

Openness has to co-exist with discernment. Not everything flung at me will be something I should soak in and take on. 

I've learned to 'try things on' in my head. To imagine putting it on like a garment and what life would be like to wear it. How would I feel? How would I treat others? What would my relationship with God look like? This allows me to think about it and process the information in more ways. Ways that I might not consider by just looking at it on the rack.

Slow down. If it's right, it will still be right tomorrow when I've had time to calm down, process and create space to discern. 

When I feel the instinct to do something RIGHT NOW, I take that as a sign to pick an appropriate amount of time to remain neutral. When that time is over, if I still believe the belief/action is right, I take the first step. While intentionally remaining open to feedback. 

All of this is done in the context of being connected to the True Vine. Being plugged in, fed regularly, nourished properly and filled with the Spirit, empowers me to make decisions in wisdom and discernment that comes from God. 

Growth is possible and beautiful. It's how I encounter God on a daily basis. It's how I experience beauty in the world around me. 

How a Freckle-Faced, Free-Spirit Bucked the System, with a Little Help From Mama Bear

Convinced that if we did it right - if I could be positive about it, never compare her, or imply she was less than - there would be no negative consequences, I enrolled her in 3rd grade.

Her twin brother advanced to 4th. 

It broke my heart that there was no accounting for all the ways she excelled that couldn't be reflected in the classroom. Her creativity, and horticultural genius. Her exquisitely riotous, free spirit that knit my soul to hers. 

But slowly, her confidence eroded. 

The thing about being a mama is, I can only work with the knowledge I have now, the advice of others in the moment, prayer and where I believe I am being led. But eventually I have to make a decision. 

It isn't possible to predict every outcome or encounter. I can't protect her from other children or interactions. There is no bubble suit for what happens when a sweet, freckle-faced girl doesn't fit the mold laid out for her.

I did my best. I made the best decision I could, and still had to watch my daughter become damaged by it. 

To this day, I don't know how I could have made another decision. I believe that we did the right thing. 

A couple of years ago, it became very apparent how all of this had harmed her and I made a commitment to her that we were going to figure out a way for her to graduate with her brother. 

At the time I imagined homeschooling her to accomplish it, but I did some research and learned about a program here in Irving that allows students who have been held back to catch up to their original grade level. 

We applied months ago, and were supposed to learn about whether she was accepted back in March, but the world went crazy and it was delayed.

We have waited VERY impatiently, and because of our tenaciousness, we got a call today...on the day the decision was made instead of having to wait for a letter... 

SHE GOT IN.

I don't know how all of this will shape her life, or mine. 

But for now, I'm happy with the twinkle in her eye and the spring in her step.