Back to School

I love back to school time! Not the part where my kiddos are gone for a big chunk of the day, that part I dread. But the new beginning, the chance to start fresh, THAT I love!

I like to take some time, this time of year, to rethink our families goals, assess where we are, what we've let go, what we need to improve on and new things that I would like to implement. 

I've been realizing lately how much of my kids lives revolve around food.  They're always hungry.  And when they say they're hungry, they must be fed, right?! Apparently NOT right. This is one of those things that really makes it clear that my faults bear themselves out in my children.

I'm a third generation yo-yo dieter. I've struggled with my weight for my entire adult life.  And did you know that if you're overweight, there's an 80% likelihood that your kids will be too?

I don't want that for them. I want them to be healthy and unencumbered by the stigmas and limitations of being overweight.  Because, let's face it, we can't be at our best, giving our all to God if our bodies are sickened by a heavy load.

This summer I realized that one of the major reasons they eat, is out of boredom.  When they have something to do constantly, they aren't asking me for food.

So these are my goals, as far as the kids health goes...

First, I can't deny them something that I allow myself. So I have to set an example of smaller portion sizes.

Second, be more purposeful in how we fill our time.  We've got some new board games that we've been having a blast with!  And I want to start walking with them again.

Third, realize that they don't really need seconds and thirds and cut back their portion sizes.

and fourth and probably the most important...cooking healthier meals and impressing upon them that food is to feed our bodies and that the party on our taste-buds is just an added bonus! And that not EVERY meal has to be a taste explosion!

I just love them so much and I don't want to see them become fourth generation yo-yoers. I want them to treat their bodies as the temples they are, and not just a den of pleasure, seeking out the next thrill, or in this case, the next yummy thing to eat!

A Prodigal Brother and His Redeemer

 In the world of motherhood, it's like there's some grand scheme of how to keep us in line.  A majority of the time the scheme involves guilt. After all, if you want to feel guilty, as a mom, there's an unending supply of things to feel guilty about...and quite nicely, the voices in our heads have made out a very diverse schedule of such things.

But just when you think you've had enough...they throw us a bone.  They give us a moment that makes up for all of the other moments. For just a minute, they allow us to sit back and say "I think I'm getting the hang of this!" and then swiftly we're brought back to reality by the food fight in the backseat.

 It's fun though, it really is.

Today, I got one of those moments. The one where I sit back in complete awe and utter a prayer of thanksgiving for making something beautiful out of the mess that I am.

Today, I took my kids to a quaint little mining town in the foothills.  We made candles, drank sasparilla, bought ginormous handmade lollipops, and bowled the old fashioned way.

One of the neat things about this town are the old fashioned dry goods shops. Well, they're neat if you're over the age of 25 and capable of NOT touching everything in sight.

I warned my kids before entering such a shop that if they could not keep their hands to themselves, that they would swiftly be banished to the little bench in front of the store, while the rest of us shopped.

Nathaniel couldn't keep his hands to himself. So off to the bench he went. Honestly, I think those glasses magnified his sad little eyes more than they help him see better.

Anyway, Caleb watched him exit the store. After a minute, Caleb pulled me aside and wanted to know if it was okay if he went and took Nathaniel's punishment so that Nathaniel could come back inside.  I was completely and utterly taken aback. My son, my eldest son, was willing to take the well deserved punishment of his little brother...for no other reason than that he loves him.

I had my little moment, that feeling of relief and thankfulness that God is really WITH me, and not in some far off place where I can't reach Him.

And then I was quickly brought back to reality by the literal kids in a candy store.  And all I've got to say is, there's a reason it's a cliche.

Outfit of the day By Elisabeth

Elisabeth  utilized the unappreciated aspects of this skirt by wearing the bloomers as a blouse, notice the very creative and boldly chic embellishment, typically worn as a garment tag!

Proverbs 31

I am completely baffled by the Proverbs 31 woman.  I wonder what her mother was like. I wonder what she felt like as a young bride...if she felt as overwhelmed as I do on a regular basis.

Wouldn't it be awesome if she wrote a book, did a book tour and then did a round of talk shows so we could all get a little glimpse into who she is and how on earth she does all that stuff?!

My husband is really awesome...he is constantly helping me. Whether it's dishes, laundry, dealing with the kids, etc.

A while back it occurred to me...Moses wouldn't have attained greatness if he were at home changing diapers when the bush was on fire.  My husband would never have made it to the mountain with one of our kids, like Abraham did with Isaac, because he would have been at home folding laundry.

I realized that my dependence on my husbands help around the house is holding him back.

I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with husbands helping...I'm just saying that one of the compliments the Proverbs 31 woman received is that she took care of everything at home so that her husband had the time to hang out in the gates with the elders, making a name for himself.

My husband is a musician...he writes beautiful songs.  I want everyone to know it...but they won't if I keep him busy doing dishes instead of taking care of that so that he has time to practice and perfect his art.

Excuses

There are so many things that I want to do for Christ...but I always seem to find an excuse for putting it off. I don't have enough money, my house isn't nice enough, my kids aren't well behaved enough, I'm not a good enough cook...the list could go on and on and on.

Recently, in my daily bible reading, I came across the story of Moses. I began to ponder how utterly ridiculous it was for Moses to tell God that he was slow of speech and therefore could not do as God wished. I mean, really, Moses was speaking to the creator of the universe...the one who formed his tongue and made speech possible in the first place. Didn't he realize that "with God all things are possible"?

And yet, as ridiculous as that seems to me, I still become paralyzed at the thought of having someone over for dinner. My house isn't nice enough, or big enough, and I am a very amateur cook.

The thing is, I don't have to have a fancy schmancy house to make people feel loved. A house, regardless of how big or fancy it is, can't love anyone. If God desires it of me, he'll work out the details. In Moses' case he provided Aaron...I don't know what the provision will be in my case. Maybe Paula Deen will show up on my doorstep. Who knows?!

This weeks step toward my mission--make a list of people I'd like to have over for a meal and actually invite someone

In the meantime, I plan to work on my culinary skills...I've been eyeballing these book...
How to Cook Without a Book by Pam Anderson (not THAT Pam Anderson)
Martha Stewart's Baking Handbook
Martha Stewart's Cooking School 
I'm Just Here for More Food by Alton Brown
The Way to Cook by Julia Child

BTW, I made Mini Apple Pies from Heavenlyhomemakers.com...they were a big hit!!

My Mission

I was thinking about Job the other day. Can you imagine God being so confident in you that he would be willing to make a wager upon your unwaveringness? I certainly can't.

I'm a waiverer. Mostly, I think because I have all of these goals for myself but no concrete plan to achieve any of them.

When you head out on a journey, at least most of the people I know, have set a destination, a map or directions for how to get there, and any accomodations they'll need along the way.

That is what my journey has been missing. I know where I want to be but I don't have a set route for getting there. I've made no plans.

So, after being inspired by InspiredtoAction, I decided to write a mission statement...

To place all of my faith in God, and to prepare my heart, mind, body and soul to be fully utilized by Him.
To make Michael feel loved, and to take care of his needs and those of our household leaving him free to attain greatness.
To fill my childrens lives with love and joy, leading their hearts toward God.
To focus my time and energy on developing and preparing myself to show the love of Christ to those around me.

With this bit of direction, I plan to utilize this blog as a documentation of my journey toward these goals. And I'm asking you to keep me accountable--to let me know when I'm slipping, or when something isn't working.

Paying for Help

I've always been a sucker for manly men. Seriously. Not just muscles...the whole honor code...fighting for what's right...dragon slayer...who does what's right when nobody is looking...you get the idea.

I am an extremely blessed woman. I know that. I have a husband who helps in just about every area of domestic life. When I can't get something done, I always think "well I'll get it done when Michael is here to help me". And let me tell you, I can count on him to help me. He folds laundry, washes dishes, changes beds...you name, he does it. In fact, I can't think of a woman more blessed than I, whose husband helps them as much as mine does.

When Michael and I were dating someone told me, after witnessing us together, that Michael would do anything for me, that he was wrapped around my finger. I have to tell you that I didn't really believe them. I knew that he loved me...well, in my own psychotic way I did...which means I didn't believe that there was anything to love but that he did his best with what I presented to him.

It's taken me 10 years to even begin to believe them. But I can honestly say that he does. He will do anything for me, and quite frequently does.

This thought is completely baffling to me. But more than that I am angry with myself for wasting the past 10 years making him perform menial tricks to prove he loves me. I've had my dragon slayer washing dishes!

Can you imagine Indiana Jones being reduced to a housekeeper?!

And yet, in my love for manly men...I have reduced my own to a maid. I am kryptonite around his neck...I've trapped Superman inside Clark Kent.

So what do I do with this knowledge? I have to admit that I'm feeling pretty lost right now. How do I undo 10 years of damage? I'm going to spend the next few days coming up with a plan...I'll let you know what I come up with. Any advice?

Conditional Respect

One of the pitfalls that I've discovered, is the expectation that Michael has to earn my respect. He does this, this and this, and therefore doesn't deserve my respect.

This thinking is wrong on several accounts.

1. My respect toward him will encourage him to stop sinning. So by being disrespectful to him, I am discouraging him from making the changes that I want him to make. So, in essence, I am defeating the very purpose I lament.

2. When this is my mindset, it is impossible for my standards to be met. He will always have things he needs to work on, there will always be areas where he falls short. There will always be some reason why he doesn't deserve my respect. That's why respect should be unconditional. If it's not, there would never be a circumstance that would merit my respect.

3. Also, this mindset steals any ability to see the things he does that are wonderful. It blinds me and makes it next to impossible to see what he does well, and causes me to focus on the areas where he's not so great.

Respect for my husband should come from my love of God, not from my love for my husband. Even if there is absolutely NOTHING to respect my husband about, I can respect him simply because he is my husband and God has asked me to do it.

I became part of a forum for women a few years ago. It was sort of a support group, I suppose. Anyway, there were hundreds of women who participated. I joined because I thought I would receive encouragement. I left after only a few days. It was so disheartening to me that most of the women's lives were completely wrapped up in this one sin that their husbands had committed. Although it didn't encourage me, it did open my eyes. I saw myself in them and realized that I didn't have to be like that. I didn't have to base my life and love for my husband around whether or not he was feeling strong that day.

My husband is my husband. I can respect him simply on that basis. But when I make the extra effort to show him that respect, I see the tons of other reasons I have to respect him as well.

How to Train Your Dragon

Last week I took Caleb to see How to Train Your Dragon. He enjoyed it immensely.

How to Train Your Dragon is about a young Viking named Hiccup. He doesn't really fit in with his peers, because unlike all the other Vikings, he is small and bookish instead of large and boorish. He is brushed aside by his father for being different. Hiccup eventually forges a friendship with a dragon, from whom he learns about all dragons. He discovers that the dragons are misunderstood, and if treated differently, become gentle instead of the fearsome creatures the Vikings perceive them to be.

As I watched the movie, I got to thinking. It has kind of become a common plot characteristic for the parents of the main character to be either deadbeats, or just plain ignorant. Movies such as How to Train Your Dragon, The Little Mermaid, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and Chicken Little all portray story lines where the parents are ignorant and overprotective, or ignorant and indifferent, and need to be taught a lesson.

While I'm sure it's true that there are a lot of ignorant parents out there, and maybe even deadbeats, I'm wondering if there are, or have been, negative repercussions from this depiction of the parent/child relationship? I mean, should be repeatedly showing our kids how great it turns out when they completely ignore us and do what they want? And reaffirming in their minds that we really don't know what's best for them?

Maybe I'm making too much of this, but being a parent, I wonder.

Proof that I married the best man ever!

Here is proof that we actually DID get something done on our date week. Between sleeping, going to movies and generally lazing about...we refinished the hardwood floor in our living room. We absolutely love it! Here's what we did.
Step One:  Marry an awesome guy. You won't regret it! (This step is optional, you can do it without being married or being married to an awesome guy, it'll just take more work)
Step Two: Pull up the carpet. This is probably the most disgusting part. I wore a nose and mouth guard to avoid the dust and particles that flew about as we SCRAPED PADDING OFF THE FLOOR. Seriously, carpet is so gross! This just solidified my abhorrence of it!

Step Three:  Scrape the thick paint off. Make sure you wear gloves!!! I actually deadened some nerves in my hand because I didn't wear gloves. And paint stripper is potent stuff!

Step Four:  Clean up scrapings and materials left behind.

Step Five:  Sanding. We rented a sander from Home Depot. The sandpaper was more expensive than the machine was. We were very careful in our use of the sandpaper and used it very sparingly. This is where marrying the best man ever comes in real handy...

Step Six:  Wipe down the floor, removing all the dust particles left behind. DON'T SKIP THIS STEP! If you do dust particles will get into the stain and lacquer.

Step Seven:  Start staining. But first you have to choose a stain. We choose a darker stain because we thought it would made some blemishes in the floor less noticeable. I also knew I didn't want anything with red in it. I think we went with an antique Oak.

Step Eight:  Apply several coats of lacquer, make it all nice an shiny!

Step Nine: Apply a buffer on all hard surfaces that will come into contact with the floor...or your floor will get scratches and dents.

Step Ten:  Move all the furniture back into the room and sit on the couch cuddled up to the guy from step one and compliment him on his handy work.

It feels so good to have done something like this to improve our house. And I love having hardwood. I clean it with my vacuum and a Swiffer wet. It does collect and show a lot of stuff, but it just shows the stuff that carpet hides....and I'd rather see it when it's there and know it's gone when I can't see it. Did you know that the average carpet is dirtier than the street? That's really gross. Especially since I haven't completely convinced my kids to not eat off of the floor!

Keep Your Tongue From Evil, Keep Your Tongue

Tonight, as I stood in line at Target my eyes wondered to the magazine rack. As I read the various headlines, I was saddened by some news of a 'celebrity breakup'. But then I have to wonder, why does anyone read these? One issue they are declaring how in love a couple is and the next they are calling one of them a monster and relating his ongoing fidelity problems. Obviously these people don't really have the scoop, so why do people keep buying and reading that stuff? Why are we so obsessed with 'celebrity gossip', after all, IT IS gossip, right?

Can we really focus our eyes on Christ while dwelling on the lives of people who have no such conviction?

I am particularly prone to gossip, and I have to admit that for a long time I bought into celebrity gossip. But in an effort to remove the encumbrances that weigh me down, I've made a commitment to remove this temptation from my life.

Celebrity gossip isn't the only area where I struggle though. It seems that any situation that arises where there is lot of "visiting" I fall prey. I say something I shouldn't, whether in participating when others start or starting a conversation that shouldn't be had myself.

It seems in groups we always look for common ground, something on which we can build a conversation. But in a group of Christ followers, THAT should be our common ground. We don't need the woman whose neckline is too low, or the man who flirts too much, or the secret Betty Sue told us or the latest baseball game...if our eyes are focused where they should be, CHRIST is our common ground...which means our ENTIRE LIVES ARE IN COMMON. Feeling we have to have something else in common is like a group of art lovers, and particularly Mona Lisa lovers, staring at the Mona Lisa and feeling the need to talk about the latest baseball game. If you are in front of the Mona Lisa, the conversation is most likely going to revolve around it...the majesty...the rarity...and would not bring to mind Betty Sue's bad breath.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with talking baseball...I'm saying that Christ is our common ground, and if a conversation topic is needed, there's no going wrong with Jesus.

Proverbs 10:19
1 Thess. 4:11
Ephesians 4:29