Learning to Say No and Just Trust

Sometimes it's difficult to discern between needs and wants.

And when you have a limited budget that won't even allow for some of the needs, let alone the wants, it's tempting to throw the budget out the window and live beyond our means.

And believe me, we've done our share of that.

Sure, it's annoying to not have all of the perks that your friends have, but it's even more annoying and sooo stressful to not be able to pay our bills because we wasted it at Target.

So learning to tell myself no has been a big necessity.  But let me tell ya, it feels so good. Saying no takes a weight off of my shoulders, in the way that spending and having "things" puts it on.

Sometimes it's hard to decide when we should just spring for something, and trust that God has us covered or when we should tell ourselves no and wait for Him to provide it.

I found a really cheap version of one of the books I mentioned earlier on Amazon and I have been so tempted to just get it.  I think of all the ways having it will benefit me, my family and help me bring glory to God.

I made the concrete decision today, that if God wants me to have it, if it really will benefit my family and glorify Him, He will provide it. And if He doesn't provide that particular book, He will provide in some way that will benefit us and bring glory to Him in ways I can't imagine.

I've told myself this very thing a lot lately.  And it works. Letting it go, trusting that God will provide what I need and recognizing that just because I think I need it, doesn't mean I do.  It feels awesome to be creative and do without something I thought I needed.  I'm learning to be thankful when God says no, and I'm working toward my mission of being trusted implicitly by my husband.

God is awesome!

Portion control

Sometimes being a parent is hard.  Ah...who am I kidding? It's mostly hard. But a good kind of hard.

 I have become a portion Nazi.  Meaning, I've become a tyrant about the portions my kids, and myself, eat.  I decide before a meal how much each person will get and that's what they get...and not a drop more.  Well, I'm a little looser with veggies...but for the most part...each person gets their share and that's it. No seconds, no exceptions.

You see, I am overweight...er...obese.  That's really hard to say.  But you know what? I don't ever want to have to use that word in regard to my children.  And that is largely up to me.  Did you know that if you are overweight there's an 80% chance that your children will be? It's true.

I don't typically think of it this way, but I am setting my kids up for failure.  Who wants to do that? I certainly don't.

Lately I had started noticing growing bellies on my babies...and I knew that I had to do something.  I had already joined Weight Watchers but I hadn't really changed my family's diet at all...only mine. So I made a decision that something had to change...and that something was the size portions I allowed my children to have.  As well as teaching them table manners...which encourages them to eat slower, take smaller bites and in the process, not eat so much.

And just in the three weeks I've been really strict about this, my monkeys little bellies have shrunk significantly. I haven't weighed or measured them because I didn't want to make it about weight for them, I want it to be about being healthy...but just judging from their size, they've probably lost a few pounds.

But that's not the only positive difference in our lives, resulting from more careful portion control.

Our groceries last much longer. I've only had to go major grocery shopping once this month...as opposed to 2 or 3 times. I spent around $400 on groceries this month...for a family of seven...as opposed to $600-800.

Pride

Pride hinders growth.

It tells us that we are a victim. It takes the responsibility off of our shoulders, hands us someone else's burden to bear and a loud voice to complain about it all with.

It produces denial.  Denial that we are the problem...and convinces us that it isn't just our unwillingness to get up off of our rumps and change...it's someone else, or our environment. 

It puts us on the defensive when we receive advice and helps us ignore the advice or tear it down.

I think this is something that young people have to really work on.

Looking back over the past few years...especially since I started having kids...I have recognized this in myself so much.  It was pointless to give me advice.  I'm not sure what it is about becoming a mother that totally brings out the pride claws...but it does.  But with each baby, God has cut me down to size and given me an insatiable desire for growth...so the pride had to go. Not saying it doesn't rear it's ugly head on plenty of occasions...but I'm learning to recognize the signs and 'nip it in the bud' when it does.

I remember as a young mother (haha that's like my kids talking about when they were kids) being frustrated at the lack of older womanly advice that was offered to me.  But, after having a few opportunities to play the role of the older woman in a few instances, I'm realizing that

1.)I was offered advice, but my pride either ignored it or made a defense as to why it wouldn't work and

2.)It's discouraging, as an advice giver to have someone completely tear you down and ignore your advice. Not that I offer a lot of advice, but on the occasion or two that I've been asked, they haven't been positive experiences and I have learned a lot about why 'older women' are hesitant to offer advice.

Growth is my goal...I don't have time for hindrances...I have too much growing to do to allow pride to slow me down.



 

I Learned Something New: Fresh Ginger

I'm extremely self conscious of my cooking.  I love to do it but I just don't have a lot of confidence.  So I love trying a new recipe that requires me to learn something in the process.

This past weekend I tried this Chicken Curry recipe.  It was not mind blowing for us but everyone ate it. And in a house full of crazies, that's quite an accomplishment.

A few months ago I got some fresh ginger, all excited to use it. I used it once with unmemorable results and never got the motivation to try to navigate the gnarly little sucker again! And then it got all shriveled up.

So, I threw the shriveled up ginger away and bought fresh.

Ginger is a root and very much looks like one.  It is extremely fragrant when you peel it. 

You can typically find it, in a supermarket, near the fresh garlic.

I keep mine in the crisper drawer of my refrigerator either in a paper bag, or in a ziplock baggie...where it stays nice for up to four weeks.Yes, I tested this theory...remember the shriveled up ginger?!

Depending on how you want to use it, it can be prepared differently. It does have skin and a layer of fibrous flesh under that (can you see the darker layer just under the skin?).  If you're planning to peel and chop it (in a recipe like Chicken Curry), it's a good idea to peel this layer off as well...or no matter how fine you chop it, you'll end up with ginger fibers stuck in your teeth.

Or, if you want to avoid all of that, use the microplane side on your cheese grater and the fibrous flesh will sort of come off on it's own...or be grated so finely that you won't know the difference!

A Little Bit of Heaven on Earth

Sometimes it's hard to imagine. I suppose my weak human mind is incapable of comprehending how amazing it will be.

But there are moments when it feels like time stops...and for a moment I get a glimpse of something so wonderfully beyond anything I can fathom...the sweet smile of a little freckle covered face or the completely delirious giggles of my children...it can only be described as a teeny tiny glimpse of Heaven. And I find it overwhelming that those moments, those little morsels of the divine, will be magnified a bazillion times in the presence of our Father.

And I am thankful for those moments...for the reminder that "I was made for another world".

Our Little Tortilla Factory

So me and my monkeys made tortillas today.  I think we managed to go completely booger free this time.  And they did wash their hands, although Lilla didn't get the soap completely rinsed off and one tortilla was suspiciously sudsy.  I guess now that we've got the booger thing down, we'll move on to the soap thing. 

The UNsoapy tortillas were awesome! I substituted whole wheat flour for the all purpose flour...I'm always a little nervous about doing that but so far everything I've made with wheat flour has been even better!

Five Little Monkey's Mama Teaches Manners

So since I've decided that we're going to have dinner guests, and since meal times at our house resemble a barnyard feed troph, maybe I should teach these wild monkeys some table manners.

Because we actually want our guests to enjoy our company, and to be able to have a conversation without being hit in the face with mashed potatoes. I think that's reasonable, don't you?

So day one of table manners boot camp went fairly well.  Nobody was injured, and nobody quit.  And there was a surprising lack of barnyard activity at our table this evening. 

Who'da thunk it?!

The Me I Used to Be

Part of my mission is to love others.  Michael, my kids, church family and pretty much everyone I come across.

But here's the thing, I'm bad at relationships. I avoid people chronically, and when I fail to completely avoid them I'm so awkward that they avoid me. 

I can't love people through the Berlin Wall.

It's time, after ten years, for the wall to come down.

Fear is my biggest barrier.  I'm afraid for others to know who I really am.  Because, I really believe that if you knew me, really knew me, you wouldn't like me.  I've done so many horrible things, who could like me?

And that is where my faith needs to grow.  Because I'm sure that Abraham was afraid when God told him to take Isaac to Mount Moriah...but he did it anyway because he trusted God.

I can't understand how God works or why He works...but he does. My human mind doesn't have to understand for me to trust that he is who he says he is and that he'll do what he says he'll do. "He is faithful that promised".

I know that he loves me.  I know that I don't deserve it.  I am so thankful. 

My goal for this week...a step toward my mission of trusting God and loving others...greet at least 10 people after worship services.

Last weeks goal update...my list is made, dates are set.


 

Back to School

I love back to school time! Not the part where my kiddos are gone for a big chunk of the day, that part I dread. But the new beginning, the chance to start fresh, THAT I love!

I like to take some time, this time of year, to rethink our families goals, assess where we are, what we've let go, what we need to improve on and new things that I would like to implement. 

I've been realizing lately how much of my kids lives revolve around food.  They're always hungry.  And when they say they're hungry, they must be fed, right?! Apparently NOT right. This is one of those things that really makes it clear that my faults bear themselves out in my children.

I'm a third generation yo-yo dieter. I've struggled with my weight for my entire adult life.  And did you know that if you're overweight, there's an 80% likelihood that your kids will be too?

I don't want that for them. I want them to be healthy and unencumbered by the stigmas and limitations of being overweight.  Because, let's face it, we can't be at our best, giving our all to God if our bodies are sickened by a heavy load.

This summer I realized that one of the major reasons they eat, is out of boredom.  When they have something to do constantly, they aren't asking me for food.

So these are my goals, as far as the kids health goes...

First, I can't deny them something that I allow myself. So I have to set an example of smaller portion sizes.

Second, be more purposeful in how we fill our time.  We've got some new board games that we've been having a blast with!  And I want to start walking with them again.

Third, realize that they don't really need seconds and thirds and cut back their portion sizes.

and fourth and probably the most important...cooking healthier meals and impressing upon them that food is to feed our bodies and that the party on our taste-buds is just an added bonus! And that not EVERY meal has to be a taste explosion!

I just love them so much and I don't want to see them become fourth generation yo-yoers. I want them to treat their bodies as the temples they are, and not just a den of pleasure, seeking out the next thrill, or in this case, the next yummy thing to eat!

A Prodigal Brother and His Redeemer

 In the world of motherhood, it's like there's some grand scheme of how to keep us in line.  A majority of the time the scheme involves guilt. After all, if you want to feel guilty, as a mom, there's an unending supply of things to feel guilty about...and quite nicely, the voices in our heads have made out a very diverse schedule of such things.

But just when you think you've had enough...they throw us a bone.  They give us a moment that makes up for all of the other moments. For just a minute, they allow us to sit back and say "I think I'm getting the hang of this!" and then swiftly we're brought back to reality by the food fight in the backseat.

 It's fun though, it really is.

Today, I got one of those moments. The one where I sit back in complete awe and utter a prayer of thanksgiving for making something beautiful out of the mess that I am.

Today, I took my kids to a quaint little mining town in the foothills.  We made candles, drank sasparilla, bought ginormous handmade lollipops, and bowled the old fashioned way.

One of the neat things about this town are the old fashioned dry goods shops. Well, they're neat if you're over the age of 25 and capable of NOT touching everything in sight.

I warned my kids before entering such a shop that if they could not keep their hands to themselves, that they would swiftly be banished to the little bench in front of the store, while the rest of us shopped.

Nathaniel couldn't keep his hands to himself. So off to the bench he went. Honestly, I think those glasses magnified his sad little eyes more than they help him see better.

Anyway, Caleb watched him exit the store. After a minute, Caleb pulled me aside and wanted to know if it was okay if he went and took Nathaniel's punishment so that Nathaniel could come back inside.  I was completely and utterly taken aback. My son, my eldest son, was willing to take the well deserved punishment of his little brother...for no other reason than that he loves him.

I had my little moment, that feeling of relief and thankfulness that God is really WITH me, and not in some far off place where I can't reach Him.

And then I was quickly brought back to reality by the literal kids in a candy store.  And all I've got to say is, there's a reason it's a cliche.

Outfit of the day By Elisabeth

Elisabeth  utilized the unappreciated aspects of this skirt by wearing the bloomers as a blouse, notice the very creative and boldly chic embellishment, typically worn as a garment tag!