Asking for Signs

I looked at what I believed was evidence. The tell-tale information that said I am not good enough. I don't belong here.

I started to listen to those lies. Should I be doing this? If I were supposed to be doing this, wouldn't __________ be happening? Wouldn't it look like ______?

And I asked God to give me a sign. Some direction. anything.

I thought of Gideon.

An angel (that he didn't know was an angel until later in the conversation) showed up and told him to go to battle for Israel. From human eyes and mind, he was a starving farmer. To God, he was a "mighty warrior". Not because he could bench press 500 hundred pounds or kill a hundred men with a pocket knife. A "mighty warrior" because God declared him one.

He asked for a sign.

Over and over he asked for reassurance that he was doing what God wanted him to do. And each time God gave it to him.

And then he asked again. Over and over and over God reassured him. And over and over and over he needed another sign.

I do the same thing. 

Over and over and over. I doubt. I listen to the lies. I believe them. And then I call out to God for a sign.

I look at the things I can see with my eyes. I see the people. I compare. I decide what it should look like with my own understanding. And when it doesn't, I doubt.

I lean on my own understanding of the world and people and myself. I only see things from a carnal perspective, I don't see into the spiritual realm. I don't see angels standing ready to fight my battles or the ways God is working it all for my  good and His glory.

But I know my God. I know he is faithful. I know He is good.

So, I took Gideon as a sign. :) 

A sign to trust God. To say yes, and trust that He will give me what I need to follow through. To trust in the Lord with all of my heart and not lean on my own understanding. In all my ways to acknowledge Him and depend on Him to make my paths straight.