Church Hurt

I sat in shocked silence while I listened to someone I thought I could trust relay a private conversation I had just had with them, to another person.

I was sitting in my living room. They walked outside to the front porch and made the call. I still don't know if they know I heard what they said, but I did. 

I was hurting, and trying to process what was happening. I turned to someone I thought I could trust to process through it. They shared what I said with the person that some of the processing had been about. 

I wasn't even allowed to think through things in a safe environment. When I didn't immediately choose the side they thought I should, they didn't give me the basic rights of relationships. I felt hurt on top of the pain I was already going through, and it made their side of the argument seem less right and clear. It muddied the water further, which made it even harder to discern what was right.

This isn't the worst thing that has happened to me in the church. It's the thing I feel comfortable sharing about.

While I believe that there is a degree of truth with the above graphic. I think it dismisses the responsibility that we have to make amends, and it allows people who run over other people with their verbal/mental car in the name of Jesus to run rampant and unchecked. 

I have sat and listened while people show contempt for others who have left the church, but I know the circumstances from the other side. 

People did hurtful and wrong things in the name of Jesus. They ran over people with their car in the name of Jesus and then show contempt and a lack of compassion when the people they ran over and others who saw it happen don't come back to have a relationship with them. 

Being right doesn't give anyone the right to act wrongly. 

I wonder how many people who were "right" are going to have to give an account to Jesus for their actions when they were "right"?

Let's love people and make amends instead of shaming people for how they reacted to their pain. Expressing remorse and gentleness can go a long way to healing and restoration. 

I have received two apologies from people about ways they had hurt me because they thought they were right. When the Bible says that love covers a multitude of sins, it ain't lying. I never expected to get any apologies, but these two apologies made it so much easier for me to forgive all the other people. It works, and it should be done.