I Want to Ride My Bicycle

♫♪I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike. I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride it where I like♫♪

So to save us some dough...I've been riding my bike around town to perform various errands and tasks that can be done within a reasonable distance.

For most of my errands I have two route options. The first contains a fairly steep hill. The second is completely flat but out of the way. 

So typically I talk myself into taking the hill route. I think about the extra effort I'll have to put into biking up the hill and the extra calories I can burn in the process. 

So as I bike on my merry little way, I anticipate the hill. I pedal faster and get a good pace going so that when I hit the hill I'll have a good head start so the hill won't be so much work.

But the thing is, no matter how fast I pedal in anticipation of the hill, about halfway up the hill it gets hard. Every revolution of my tires is a chore. The muscles in my legs start burning like crazy and it takes all of my focus to gain even an inch of ground.

It's at this point that I start thinking about how I should have taken the longer, but much flatter route. It hurts. It's painful and I don't like it. In that moment I couldn't possibly care less about how many calories I'm burning or the benefits to my body. All I know is that it hurts, and I don't like it.

And then I reach the top. I reach the top and head down the other side. 

The pain is gone, the wind in my hair, my heart soars and I imagine that I'm flying.

And you know what? When I'm flying down that hill I am thankful that I didn't take the flatter route. And that moment of thankfulness and the utter bliss I feel in that moment informs my decision the next time I have to decide which route to take.

In life, we have choices. We can take the flat, apathetic route that takes little to no gumption to get through...or we can take a chance on the hard route that will provoke growth. 

But the thing is, no matter how much we prepare for the difficult moments, sometimes things just get hard. They get hard and we just have to keep pedaling. It hurts and it's not pleasant, but we keep going. 

And eventually we get to the top. 

Are you facing an uphill battle? Are things tough for you right now? Is it all you can do to get out of bed in the morning? 

Don't give up! You're almost to the top! Just keep pedaling! You can do it!

Let me know if there's something I can do to encourage you! Or pray for you about!

Holding Back the Floodwaters

I am always intrigued by other peoples homes. Seeing or being inside someone else's home is like a little glimpse into their souls. You can learn a lot about people just by being inside their home.

It's difficult for me not to get caught up in comparison. Not because I'm jealous of their material possessions, but because I feel so behind.

Yes, when you come into my home you can learn a lot about me, but what you learn about me is not what I want to be true.

It's like when you're paying off debt. You may no longer be that irresponsible person who created those debts, but you still have to pay them. And sometimes it feels defeating.

Our living room is half painted, the bathroom is covered in a variety of paint colors because my daughter thought the bathroom should give a preview of the paint colors in all the other rooms. I feel like my housekeeping efforts are like a rickety dam with a crack in it, barely holding back the flood waters.

If you stop by my house unannounced, it's very likely that I won't let you in because my house is a mess.

To be honest, I do see areas of growth. I do have a laundry pile, but I'm pretty sure I could get it all done in one day...which is a huge improvement upon years past.
I feel like I'm missing something. Other women who are my age and at my approximate stage of life have clean, decorated, homey homes. And I want that desperately. But I feel like I'm missing some chip in my brain that renders me incapable of that. Not because God didn't give me that "chip" but because I broke it somehow.  And I honestly have no idea how to fix it.

I know that I'm probably going to get some emails asking if I'm okay, and I am okay. I probably just need a hug. But the only person I've seen today is the FedEx man and it seemed a little out of his job description and kind of inappropriate to hug him! :)

Okay, I'm going to go reinforce the flood gates so maybe the dam won't break today. :) Pray for me?

Exhibit A

Being the mom of five wild indians makes my life interesting.

Exhibit A:

Yesterday I loaded them all into our Wild Indian Wagon and stopped to get gas.

Apparently our local fillin' station has had problems with people leaving the pump nozzles clicked down and spilling gas everywhere so they took the little whatchamacallits that hold the trigger on the nozzle down off. And a 47 gallon tank  takes a while to fill when you've run the tank purty near empty.

Meanwhile...back at the ranch...err...back inside the Wild Indian Wagon...my very wild Wild Indians decided to reenact Custer's Last Stand...on a very small scale since I'm pretty sure Custer and the Native Americans had a much larger space to battle it out in than the backseat of a Suburban.

I'm pretty sure you couldn't get hydraulics to make that thang move in the way it was moving. For reals...you know in cartoons when a group of kids gets into a fight and all you see is a cloud? There's a reason for that. The person who came up with that must have had five wild indians too.

So I stood there pumping gas, pretending to ignore the commotion inside the vehicle...which was pretty difficult since I was leaning up against it.

And believe me, people were staring. But, being the mother of five wild indians, it's a pretty common occurrence around these here parts.

All of this is going on and the guy at the next pump decides it's a good time to strike up a conversation. He asks me about the kids, acts shocked when I tell him how many there are and that, yes! they are ALL mine.

And then he hit on me. I don't know if he's crazy, desperate or if he just thought any woman with that many kids could probably use a boost. I don't know. He promptly left.

After what seemed like a million years at the time, I finished filling the tank, and got back into the car expecting for the refereeing part of my job to commence but...

Somehow they had reached a truce. They were happy as larks. They were sweaty and disheveled but you'd have never known they had just fought the battle of the century. I don't even know what the battle was about and I doubt they remember either.

I'm sure that all the people at that gas station thought I was a horrible mother for not interrupting their fight...and maybe I am. But I think it's nice for them to work things out themselves...to either figure out a way to solve the problem or just decide it isn't worth it. Because, let's be honest, I won't always be there to do that for them. When they grow up and have a spouse...mama definitely can't step in and solve the problem. It's all them and Jesus! So I might as well save myself some energy and give them a chance to practice!

Errr....or something like that! That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

Something Worth Fighting For

Confession: I'm a drama queen.

So Michael works full time and goes to school full time. And he's a music major...and if you don't know why that would make matters different, bless you!

Anyway, so I really only see him in passing from Tuesday morning until Sunday (he literally comes in, showers, changes clothes and leaves again).

Thursdays are particularly lonely for me and I always think of this line from Cold Mountain, "If you are fighting, stop fighting. If you are marching, stop marching. Come back to me. Come back to me is my request." I am particularly awful at accents of any sort so even though I say it in my best southern belle accent...I'll spare you.

And then I imagine myself as a delicate southern belle (even though in real life I'd be more suited for the role of Ruby Thewes) at home keeping house, waiting for my soldier who's off fighting some heroic battle. I imagine him reading those words and  walking on beaches and over mountains, eating crawdads and goat meat, being nursed by some old lady with bitter herbs, walking through snow and ice, moving heaven and earth to get back to me...

until finally I hear the roar of a motorcycle engine pull into our driveway.

My soldier is home.

I know, he's not out fighting a literal battle. But he is fighting. He is fighting for our family.

The best part is that he gets to come home often enough so that neither one of us forgets what he's fighting for. Because that's important. There are no deserters here, no giving up because we can't remember what we're fighting for.

This is real. We are real. We aren't perfect but we are redeemed. Redeemed by a fierce God who has fought the battle of the ages and won.

Because this is something worth fighting for.

Stepping Out in Real Life

I did something a little bit crazy today.

For the past three years my kids and I have spotted the most interesting sight around our town.

A man. Riding a unicycle. And while a man riding a unicycle is quite common and very ordinary at the circus...it's rather exciting and extraordinary on an ordinary day, in an ordinary town, on an ordinary street.

Photo Credit: Ken Looi, Universal Unicyclist

The first time we saw him, his unicycle was bicycle height off the ground, and over the last three years we've watched him rise higher and higher.

A few weeks ago, I decided that I would love to talk to this man. Unfortunately, I had no idea who he was and couldn't find anyone who DID. So I concluded that I'd have to catch him when he wasn't posed on top of a unicycle to talk to him, because I don't want to kill him by asking him his name.

**:) I apologize for my ignorance, I have since learned that it is possible and even not that hard to talk to someone while (uni)cycling. In fact, I found a video of this guy doing just that...down Lombard Street in San Francisco! Oh well! I guess my ignorance makes this story even more ridiculous! Have a laugh at my expense!**

So today while I was headed out to get gas, I spotted him.

Then I looked in the mirror. Gag me! I hadn't showered and was dressed in lazy housewife attire, complete with no shoes and no makeup. Believe me, I was a sight to behold. But, I decided that if I saw him on my way back that I would take it as a dare.

Fast forward to around 20 minutes later...

I had pretty much forgotten about him, but on my way back home, I spotted him carrying his unicycle. I had a small window of opportunity to catch him and not put his life in danger to speak to him.

So I parked the car, pulled my "business" cards out of my purse and began chasing the man down. (okay...here's the picture...imagine the unkept woman described above, plus the 6 inch mismatched wedges I found in the back of my van from when i took them off and never carried them into the house, running down the street shouting "sir! sir!" It was a sight to behold...let me tell ya!)

He stopped! I asked him if I could interview him, I handed him my card, and he very kindly began telling me about places I could find him on internet and a book that he's writing! (Note to self:  before leaving the house, check to make sure you have a writing utensil because when someone is giving you information you need, little plastic men, used tissues and gum are absolutely no help at all.) A unicycle riding lesson may very well be in my future...stay tuned!

So, I gave out my first legitimate business card (it may be the only one I ever have occasion to give out...so this must be celebrated!) and I chased down a random stranger to ask for an interview.

For me, both of those things require stepping out of my comfort zone. And honestly, my comfort zone is a comfortable place, it's kind of somewhere I previously dreaded leaving. But I'll tell ya what, there is almost always some good that comes of getting out of it. I always learn something new or grow in some way. And I think that every time I do it, it gets a little easier to talk myself into doing it the next time.

Have you left your comfort zone lately? Has your unwillingness to step out of your comfort zone kept you from doing something you want to do?

What are your goals for today? What one thing, that might happen to be out of your comfort zone, can you do right now to work toward that goal?

Have an awesome day! And please let me know if there's anything that I can do to encourage or help you work toward a goal!

Use What You've Got, Do What You Love and Learn As You Go!

So guess what?!

I'm pretty sure that every. single. person. reading this can probably write a better blog than me. I'm pretty sure that most of you probably read through my blogs and mentally point out the bazillion grammatical errors that I make in every post.

In every single thing that I do, I know for a fact that there are a bazillion people on Earth that can do it better than me.

And I'll tell you what, that used to (and sometimes still does) stop me from doing them.

But here's the dill, pickles.  Doing things I love to do, even if I'm not very good at them will typically lead to good things (as long as it's all for God's glory because doing drugs...is not a good thing...but I'm pretty sure you knew what I meant).

 First of all...like the old saying goes...practice makes perfect. Not that I will ever be perfect at anything, but I learn from experience. Even if I do whatever it is wrong, I have a better idea of how too do it right. And that's definitely a good thing, right?

Second, I open myself up to be taught by people who are better at it than me. So, if you want to correct my grammar and instruct me about how to do it the right way...maybe I'll make less errors in the future. Which means I have to be humble and open to being taught. There is no room for pride amongst growth.

 Thirdly, by other people seeing me try, it encourages them to try too. Another good thing, right?! Because then you have someone to learn with and two heads are better than one, right?!

So what's my point?

Is there something you want to do but are afraid to try because you know that other people are better (or just as good) at it than you are?  Guess what!? That will always be the case. But there is room in God's plan for you.

Whatever it is...cooking, keeping your home, singing, writing, gardening, losing weight, reading your Bible, starting a new career...don't let fear keep you from doing it. Think you're inadequate? Well maybe you are (I KNOW I am)...all the more glory it will bring to God when He displays his power by accomplishing something awesome in you!

Whether you're a ten talent man or a one talent man...use what you've got, do what you love and learn as you go!

God is awesome. And NOTHING, yes NOTHING, is impossible for HIM.

Attitude Wrinkles

Remember when you were  kid and you had contorted your face into some silly visual concoction and, invariably, an adult said something like...”you better watch out, your face might stick like that”?

That saying came to mind recently as I was pondering how some people seem to be smiling even when they’re not...and others seem to be hiding a frown...even when they’re smiling.

It occurred to me how profoundly that warning applies to my attitude and general approach to life.

“If my attitude, in this moment, got stuck like this...what would life be like?” I’ll tell you that a lot of times the future would not look very bright!

A moment of negativity doesn’t mean I’m a negative person...but moments add up. When it all adds up, what kind of person am I? Am I encouraging others and spurring them on to love and good works? Or am I draining the life out of them?

“You better watch out, your attitude might get stuck like that!”

What goals have you set this week? And what one thing are you doing today to reach that goal? Let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do to encourage you or help you reach your goal!

And remember “tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it!” :)

Who Am I?

When I first began losing weight, I didn't know anyone who had lost the amount of weight I needed to lose, and kept it off.  I scoured the internet and searched Weight Watchers success stories and very few people had lost the amount of weight I needed to lose successfully, and even fewer had kept it off. Even some of the people who won The Biggest Loser had gained all of their weight back!


It seemed impossible that I could be the one.  I mean, if all of these wonderful people hadn't done it, who did I think I was even TRYING to do it?!

So I approached it all with a wary eye. I told myself that I didn't know how far I would make it, but that I was too desperate not to try.

So I took it one day at a time, and the weight began to come off.

Today, I'm down 145 pounds and I have 30 more pounds to go.

After two years and a seven month plateau...I still don't know how far I'm going to make it.

What I do know is that I can "run" a whole lot better without these weights holding me back while I'm running. I know that God loves me and that He is my Savior and the real champion in all of this. I know that I felt hopeless...I WAS hopeless but God took this hopeless girl and turned it all around. And as miserable as I was, He chose just the right moment...anytime before that and I may have mistaken HIS power for my own.

And that, my friends, would have been tragic.

God is so good.

What are you facing that seems hopeless? What are you afraid to try?  And what can I do to encourage you?

God is Bigger than the Boogie Man...and Chocolate Cake

I ran for the first time in a while today. Honestly, I'm not even sure when the last time I ran was. I think it may have been sometime in February.

I'm not saying I've been sedentary...I've done a lot of bike riding and walking...I just haven't ran.

But today I NEEDED to run.

I was having a moment. Actually, I was having several moments right after I ate a large piece of chocolate cake. I was having a moment where I couldn't see the victory at the end of the struggle...where that big ol' piece of cake was kicking my "can-do-attitude" in the boo-tay.

So I put my running clothes on and headed out the door.

The thing is, running is against my nature. It requires a level of faithfulness that I find difficult, sometimes, to muster. It means bounding from one foot to the other...repeatedly...for long periods of time. Which, for an overweight female, can be kind of painful.

But sometimes it's necessary to do hard things, because it's the hard things that change us the most. It's the hard things that show us who we really are, and who God is. Running clears my head...and I typically spend most of the time either praying or mouthing the words to praise songs...both of which do wonders for my soul.

Well today, my run reminded me that God loves me, that He's on my side and that He's bigger than that GINORMOUS piece of chocolate cake!

It was a good run...and I'm excited to head out again tomorrow!

God is so good to me!

Bon Voyage!

So, I gained today. Three. Pounds.

I have to say it is hard to accept. And typically, I scour the past week for what I did wrong. And that's a good thing.

But today, I feel tired. Because after 7 months of doing that and working constantly and then being disappointed, I'm tired.

And so, for this week, I'm taking a break.

Yeah, I'm sure that if I look back I'll find something I could have/should have done differently (although I feel sure NOT three pounds worth). But I just need a break. I need to focus on other things. Because really, this weight loss thing is just a means to an end. 

So this week, I'm not going to focus on losing weight, I'm not going to agonize over my gain and what I need to learn to improve my success this week. I'm going to rest.

I'm going to focus on Jesus and being a mom, a wife, a homemaker, a servant and friend.

Am I going to count points? Yes. Am I going to be active? Yes.

Honestly, my week might not look much different from the outside. The difference may only be on the inside...in my thoughts and in my heart. But I can tell you that I already have felt a weight lifted from my shoulders...even though I have to constantly remind myself to let myself rest.

I don't know what my next weigh-in will hold. But for now, the part of my brain that keeps saying "hey loser! get to your goal weight already! Or at least lose SOMETHING!" is on vacation.

And all I can say is...BON VOYAGE!

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Photo by Alisha Hurt Photography

In my heart, I am an entrepreneur. In my head, I'm an entrepreneur.

When Michael and I were dating we spent hours thinking about how we would love to own a music/book store where half of the store is a shop where Michael spends his days as a luthier...crafting and creating world renowned guitars while visiting with customers and sharing his craft with passersby.

To this day I have a dream of opening a "fruit stand"/bakery where people come for in season fruits, veggies, jams, jellies, various baked goods, comfort, encouragement and love.

I also dream of writing books that encourage and spur people on to love and good works...of speaking to groups of women who need encouragement. Of loving people through the written and spoken word.

I don't know if I will ever really be successful at any of these things. Because I'm learning that God has a plan, and that ultimately, my dream is to be an instrument for His glory.

But I'm also learning that sometimes you have to step out of your boat and trust that even if it doesn't work, Jesus is there to make it all right.

So, while I was making out my "business" cards I was mulling over what to put on them. I don't really have a business and it seemed a little ridiculous to site my toilet cleaning and laundry doing abilities. So, jokingly I told Michael I was going to put "homemaker, writer, motivational speaker". I thought he would laugh it off and suggest something even MORE ridiculous.

But he didn't. He looked at me and said, "You know you do those things, right?"

And so I ended up using those descriptive terms. Not because I think I do those things well, but I do them and I hope to grow in them so that I can eventually do them well.

I guess it seemed like it was time to step out of my boat. So I did.

And there you have it.

God is good!