A Guide to Changing Perspectives

Instinctively, I corrected.

It felt important to speak the truth. To offer a different perspective. To encourage them to look at the bright side.

Instead, it frequently lead to them leaning into the distortion or negativity, and started an argument. 

One of my kids had the courage to tell me how it feels when I respond with a correction immediately when they tell me a story. 

In thinking through this, why I respond the way I do and how I can do it differently I learned something. 

There is something powerful about other people seeing my pain. It helps me to move on from it. 

When I share something difficult I am dealing with and people respond with, "well at least . . . " or a story about why what I'm going through isn't that big of a deal, I feel unseen and uncared for. I feel like I need to reassure myself that my perception of reality is true. This prolongs my stance in the pain I am, it is a stumbling block.

I've learned that acknowledging hardship and allowing people to feel what they feel for a bit, actually empowers them to find the truth, a different perspective or to look at the bright side themselves. 

There is absolutely a time to call out untruth, offer a different perspective or to encourage someone to look at the bright side. But maybe when we sit with people in their pain, we are fertilizing the ground where the truth, new perspective or the bright side can take root and flourish.