An Attitude of Gratitude

My cup is not half empty and it's not half full. My cup runneth over.

But sometimes you'd think my cup were empty from my attitude. For me, complaining and a negative attitude come easily.  Finding fault is natural.

I've been learning that all of the things that I find to complain about are all a matter of perspective.

The pile of dirty dishes in the sink are proof that my family has food to eat. I am blessed. The endless pile of  laundry is proof that we have a full life and plenty of clothes to wear. I am blessed. The toilet I continually scrub is not a stinky outhouse. I am blessed. The empty fridge is an opportunity to be resourceful and grow in faith. I. Am. Blessed.

This week, my prayer is that God will cultivate an attitude of gratitude in my heart and that He will be glorified as I attempt to serve my family with joy.

Facing My Giants

I love the song "The Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns. It just speaks to me, and every time I hear it, my breath catches and I feel like it was written just for me. Recently, when I participated in a 5k I played this song several times to give myself inspiration and the extra push to keep going.

My favorite verse, and one I didn't even really notice until recently is...

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

My laundry pile is never ending...literally. I've gotten to where I complete  5-6 loads of laundry a day and I still can't keep up.

Laundry may seem trivial, but it is one of my giants. Until today, I don't even remember the last time I separated my laundry. I just kind of threw it all in out of desperation. But mostly it was this big, looming, "giant" that I hated and feared at the same time.

It shouldn't be this hard. 

So this year is all about simplifying my life and facing my giants...the first of which is my laundry pile.

By Sunday evening I plan to have a sidewalk covered in garbage bags ready to be donated or thrown away...with the exception of a few of their clothes that were given as gifts that will be rotated and put away periodically.

Each person gets 8 outfits. Six everyday (three pairs of jeans, six t shirts), one business casual (polo/sweater, khakis, etc) and one super dressy ( fancy dress, slacks/shirt/tie)
6 pairs of everyday socks and two pairs of dress socks...
6 pairs of underwear, 2 undershirts and 6 pairs of socks.
One set of sheets for each bed, with one extra in each bed size, in case of emergency.
10 pillowcases10 bath towels,
two hand towels,
10 wash clothes,
4 kitchen towels

I will probably always have to do at least one load of towels a day, but only having to spend the entire day in the laundry room once or twice a week will be such a relief. Just having a plan of attack is a huge relief.

Please pray for me as I face this giant down! I can use all the Divine intervention I can get!


What giants are you facing? Let me know and I'll be your prayer warrior this week!

How I'm Doing It

I get a lot of questions from people about how I'm losing my weight and how I finally got the motivation I needed to start losing the 176lbs I had gradually gained over a 12 year period.

I honestly cringe when anyone asks me for workout/diet advice. Because, let's be honest, I'm not qualified to give it. I still have 74 lbs to lose and a lot of years to keep it off.

It really hit me today though. A year ago, I had given up. I had given up on myself. I wore my fat as armor...with a crest that said "I'm a horrible person who's done horrible things and let everyone, including myself, down and this is what I deserve"...it's a disclaimer so that nobody will mistake me for a valid human being.

I was hopeless. Literally. The best I could hope for was to raise my children to be different. And even that seemed far-fetched.

The only thing I can say, and at the risk of being branded a kook, is that God made the difference for me. I realized that the only way anything was going to change for me is through Him. I was desperate, I was at the end of my rope and I had to completely rely on God for anything positive in my life. So, in a nutshell, it was/is Divine intervention.

I'm not going to claim to know how God works...but I know He does...He is. And I am living proof of that.

My Own Deuteronomy.

I don't know about you, but for years I struggled in my reading of Dueteronomy. I did fine with the rest of Pentateuch but for some reason Dueteronomy killed me every time. It's just so repetitive. I mean, that's kind of the point of Dueteronomy. God told Joshua to repeat the law to the children of Israel one more time before they entered the Promised Land.

Over and over, God takes precautions to help the Israelites remember who they were, and where they'd come from, who they served.

Because God knows us. He knows that in our day to day lives, we'll forget. We'll forget that the reason we're here, the reason for all of this is, Him. Everything I have is because He gave it to me. I take credit for things that are not mine to take credit for.

The last few weeks in my weight loss journey (seriously, it's kind of annoying to hear that phrase...and yet...I just used it! Gag me!) have been a struggle for me. Right now I'm within 1.4 lbs of reaching one hundred pounds of weight loss. In the sum of a month, I've lost between 2 and 3 pounds. I'm used to losing that, or more, in a week.

I think it all amounts to a need to refocus. A need to remember. Remember that the point of all this isn't just weight loss. The point of all this is preparing my body to glorify God. Because obesity is a spiritual muscle relaxer. You don't have the confidence to step out into the water and other people don't have the confidence in you to ask you to. You wouldn't ask someone who'd just taken muscle relaxers to dig a ditch...people who take muscle relaxers sleep afterward.

So this week I'm taking the time to refocus. To remember where I've come from, who I am and who I serve.

Because all of this, all of the lessons I'm learning, mean nothing if not in the light of Jesus.

Changes

A few months ago, I sat in our van crying and hopeless. I was completely broken and disgusted with myself. Not only with how physically unhealthy I was, but emotionally as well. (That's me, on the far right...around this time)

Right then, I made a decision to join Weight Watchers. I had no idea when there was a meeting but I drove straight there and joined.

Since then, I've lost 87 pounds.

I can run...really run for the first time in I don't even know how long....and I have run, repeatedly.

I'm not saying that all of my problems are solved, but I do have hope. Not because I've somehow, miraculously, gained self control...I've tried a million times to lose weight...and I haven't...so I know it isn't me.  God has blessed me tremendously. There is not one ounce of credit that I can take for that 87 pounds...the glory is all His. I pray he continues to bless me.

Being lighter physically is not the only way I've been blessed. I'm finding it easier to step out of my comfort zone...partly because I spend less time worrying about what other people think of me. I'm learning that that really doesn't matter...it's what God thinks that matters.

I'm so excited to see where God takes me, what He does with my life.

It feels so good to let go, give up control and just let Him lead. Which is kind of an odd thing to say since I tend to be a control freak. A control freak that HATES being in control??? The mind reels.

Free Indeed...at last.

Here I am. Scars and all. And for the first time in my life I can sincerely say...I do what I do because I believe it's right, although I fall short on a pretty constant basis...my relationship with God is between me and Him...and others opinions of the state of my salvation doesn't affect it. God knows me, He knows my heart. He said that if I seek, I'll find. So here I am, trusting Him. Really believing Him.

I appreciate admonishment and provocation from anyone who will love me enough to give it...but my relationship with Jesus and my heavenly Father is not defined by what you think of me and I won't live in fear any longer. 

And it feels awesome.

 

Like Mother Like Daughter

So after a 7 year hiatus, and in an effort to NOT be confused with the local bag lady...I've been sprucing up my appearance...losing weight, actually combing my hair--instead of the perpetual, and very literal (not carefully crafted) messy bun--and...drum roll...wearing make up.

I love makeup, doing my hair and dressing nice but, for some weird and completely alien reason, I stopped doing all of those things...and the local bag lady became my fashion role model.


Well, Elisabeth decided she needs a change too...and the nearest black marker did just the trick!

Surprise! Surprise!

So on Monday and Tuesday I suffered horribly from a cold.  By Wednesday it had developed into an all out sinus infection.

But do I go to the doctor? Of course not! It's more fun to try out all the quirky ways of healing myself than to do something as easy as take a pill.

So I hit the 'net in search of natural remedies.

The one I kept coming across was 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar in eight ounces of water.  Ugh. 

But I decided to give it a try. Mostly to prove it wrong and set all these quacks straight...

But I drank it. I admit it wasn't as bad as most liquid medicines I've had. And it made my tummy feel all warm and settled.

In less than five minutes, the imaginary SOS pad that had been scrubbing my sinuses magically disappeared, the faucet stopped running and I could hear and breath again. A miracle I tell you!

Natural Cure All

Apparently, BandAids even cure runny noses...and I don't bother to wash my children's faces before I take their picture!

Learning to Be Wise: A Work in Progess

So there's good news and there's bad news.

I'll share the good news first.

Mornings at our house, since the kids started school, have been hectic. I didn't think adding a kiddo to the morning send off would be such a big deal. but it is.  So far, they haven't been late...but my goal is to walk them to school everyday and that's only happened once so far. 

This morning marked the beginning of the second week of school...and it was by far the most pleasant morning so far.  Wanna know why?

I made breakfast last night!  I had Applesauce Bread and boiled eggs on the menu, and since I'm much more of a night person than a morning person, I boiled the eggs and made the bread last night! 

And for the first time this year, I didn't feel like chicken running around with it's head cut off all morning.

I'm sure in these little 'realizations' of mine, you all are thinking how silly I am to have not thought of them before...but apparently I'm a slow learner.

Now for the bad news.

This weekend, I gave in and said yes, when I should have said no.

It's not that I didn't think HE would provide, it's that I didn't want to wait for him to.  I wanted what I wanted and I wanted it NOW.

So, if you're a "righteous man" could you use some of those "effectual, fervent prayer"s on my behalf?

How to Get Your Four Year Old to Go To Bed

Are you having trouble getting your four year old to go to bed when it's time?

Is there whining and complaining and lots of excuses to get out of bed?

Well, since I'm a parenting expert, let me tell you how to solve that problem. Listen really well, because with all of my experience and perfectly angelic kids, I'm definitely qualified to give you advice.

You'll need some rope, and knot tying know-how...and if that doesn't work...there's always NyQuil...

JUST KIDDING!

No, but really, I went to tell Elisabeth to get ready for bed last night...and she was already tucked tightly in her bed, sound asleep. 

Here's how I did it...

I have no idea.  But it sure was nice!