A Little Bit of Heaven on Earth

Sometimes it's hard to imagine. I suppose my weak human mind is incapable of comprehending how amazing it will be.

But there are moments when it feels like time stops...and for a moment I get a glimpse of something so wonderfully beyond anything I can fathom...the sweet smile of a little freckle covered face or the completely delirious giggles of my children...it can only be described as a teeny tiny glimpse of Heaven. And I find it overwhelming that those moments, those little morsels of the divine, will be magnified a bazillion times in the presence of our Father.

And I am thankful for those moments...for the reminder that "I was made for another world".

Our Little Tortilla Factory

So me and my monkeys made tortillas today.  I think we managed to go completely booger free this time.  And they did wash their hands, although Lilla didn't get the soap completely rinsed off and one tortilla was suspiciously sudsy.  I guess now that we've got the booger thing down, we'll move on to the soap thing. 

The UNsoapy tortillas were awesome! I substituted whole wheat flour for the all purpose flour...I'm always a little nervous about doing that but so far everything I've made with wheat flour has been even better!

Five Little Monkey's Mama Teaches Manners

So since I've decided that we're going to have dinner guests, and since meal times at our house resemble a barnyard feed troph, maybe I should teach these wild monkeys some table manners.

Because we actually want our guests to enjoy our company, and to be able to have a conversation without being hit in the face with mashed potatoes. I think that's reasonable, don't you?

So day one of table manners boot camp went fairly well.  Nobody was injured, and nobody quit.  And there was a surprising lack of barnyard activity at our table this evening. 

Who'da thunk it?!

The Me I Used to Be

Part of my mission is to love others.  Michael, my kids, church family and pretty much everyone I come across.

But here's the thing, I'm bad at relationships. I avoid people chronically, and when I fail to completely avoid them I'm so awkward that they avoid me. 

I can't love people through the Berlin Wall.

It's time, after ten years, for the wall to come down.

Fear is my biggest barrier.  I'm afraid for others to know who I really am.  Because, I really believe that if you knew me, really knew me, you wouldn't like me.  I've done so many horrible things, who could like me?

And that is where my faith needs to grow.  Because I'm sure that Abraham was afraid when God told him to take Isaac to Mount Moriah...but he did it anyway because he trusted God.

I can't understand how God works or why He works...but he does. My human mind doesn't have to understand for me to trust that he is who he says he is and that he'll do what he says he'll do. "He is faithful that promised".

I know that he loves me.  I know that I don't deserve it.  I am so thankful. 

My goal for this week...a step toward my mission of trusting God and loving others...greet at least 10 people after worship services.

Last weeks goal update...my list is made, dates are set.


 

Back to School

I love back to school time! Not the part where my kiddos are gone for a big chunk of the day, that part I dread. But the new beginning, the chance to start fresh, THAT I love!

I like to take some time, this time of year, to rethink our families goals, assess where we are, what we've let go, what we need to improve on and new things that I would like to implement. 

I've been realizing lately how much of my kids lives revolve around food.  They're always hungry.  And when they say they're hungry, they must be fed, right?! Apparently NOT right. This is one of those things that really makes it clear that my faults bear themselves out in my children.

I'm a third generation yo-yo dieter. I've struggled with my weight for my entire adult life.  And did you know that if you're overweight, there's an 80% likelihood that your kids will be too?

I don't want that for them. I want them to be healthy and unencumbered by the stigmas and limitations of being overweight.  Because, let's face it, we can't be at our best, giving our all to God if our bodies are sickened by a heavy load.

This summer I realized that one of the major reasons they eat, is out of boredom.  When they have something to do constantly, they aren't asking me for food.

So these are my goals, as far as the kids health goes...

First, I can't deny them something that I allow myself. So I have to set an example of smaller portion sizes.

Second, be more purposeful in how we fill our time.  We've got some new board games that we've been having a blast with!  And I want to start walking with them again.

Third, realize that they don't really need seconds and thirds and cut back their portion sizes.

and fourth and probably the most important...cooking healthier meals and impressing upon them that food is to feed our bodies and that the party on our taste-buds is just an added bonus! And that not EVERY meal has to be a taste explosion!

I just love them so much and I don't want to see them become fourth generation yo-yoers. I want them to treat their bodies as the temples they are, and not just a den of pleasure, seeking out the next thrill, or in this case, the next yummy thing to eat!

A Prodigal Brother and His Redeemer

 In the world of motherhood, it's like there's some grand scheme of how to keep us in line.  A majority of the time the scheme involves guilt. After all, if you want to feel guilty, as a mom, there's an unending supply of things to feel guilty about...and quite nicely, the voices in our heads have made out a very diverse schedule of such things.

But just when you think you've had enough...they throw us a bone.  They give us a moment that makes up for all of the other moments. For just a minute, they allow us to sit back and say "I think I'm getting the hang of this!" and then swiftly we're brought back to reality by the food fight in the backseat.

 It's fun though, it really is.

Today, I got one of those moments. The one where I sit back in complete awe and utter a prayer of thanksgiving for making something beautiful out of the mess that I am.

Today, I took my kids to a quaint little mining town in the foothills.  We made candles, drank sasparilla, bought ginormous handmade lollipops, and bowled the old fashioned way.

One of the neat things about this town are the old fashioned dry goods shops. Well, they're neat if you're over the age of 25 and capable of NOT touching everything in sight.

I warned my kids before entering such a shop that if they could not keep their hands to themselves, that they would swiftly be banished to the little bench in front of the store, while the rest of us shopped.

Nathaniel couldn't keep his hands to himself. So off to the bench he went. Honestly, I think those glasses magnified his sad little eyes more than they help him see better.

Anyway, Caleb watched him exit the store. After a minute, Caleb pulled me aside and wanted to know if it was okay if he went and took Nathaniel's punishment so that Nathaniel could come back inside.  I was completely and utterly taken aback. My son, my eldest son, was willing to take the well deserved punishment of his little brother...for no other reason than that he loves him.

I had my little moment, that feeling of relief and thankfulness that God is really WITH me, and not in some far off place where I can't reach Him.

And then I was quickly brought back to reality by the literal kids in a candy store.  And all I've got to say is, there's a reason it's a cliche.

Outfit of the day By Elisabeth

Elisabeth  utilized the unappreciated aspects of this skirt by wearing the bloomers as a blouse, notice the very creative and boldly chic embellishment, typically worn as a garment tag!

Proverbs 31

I am completely baffled by the Proverbs 31 woman.  I wonder what her mother was like. I wonder what she felt like as a young bride...if she felt as overwhelmed as I do on a regular basis.

Wouldn't it be awesome if she wrote a book, did a book tour and then did a round of talk shows so we could all get a little glimpse into who she is and how on earth she does all that stuff?!

My husband is really awesome...he is constantly helping me. Whether it's dishes, laundry, dealing with the kids, etc.

A while back it occurred to me...Moses wouldn't have attained greatness if he were at home changing diapers when the bush was on fire.  My husband would never have made it to the mountain with one of our kids, like Abraham did with Isaac, because he would have been at home folding laundry.

I realized that my dependence on my husbands help around the house is holding him back.

I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with husbands helping...I'm just saying that one of the compliments the Proverbs 31 woman received is that she took care of everything at home so that her husband had the time to hang out in the gates with the elders, making a name for himself.

My husband is a musician...he writes beautiful songs.  I want everyone to know it...but they won't if I keep him busy doing dishes instead of taking care of that so that he has time to practice and perfect his art.

Excuses

There are so many things that I want to do for Christ...but I always seem to find an excuse for putting it off. I don't have enough money, my house isn't nice enough, my kids aren't well behaved enough, I'm not a good enough cook...the list could go on and on and on.

Recently, in my daily bible reading, I came across the story of Moses. I began to ponder how utterly ridiculous it was for Moses to tell God that he was slow of speech and therefore could not do as God wished. I mean, really, Moses was speaking to the creator of the universe...the one who formed his tongue and made speech possible in the first place. Didn't he realize that "with God all things are possible"?

And yet, as ridiculous as that seems to me, I still become paralyzed at the thought of having someone over for dinner. My house isn't nice enough, or big enough, and I am a very amateur cook.

The thing is, I don't have to have a fancy schmancy house to make people feel loved. A house, regardless of how big or fancy it is, can't love anyone. If God desires it of me, he'll work out the details. In Moses' case he provided Aaron...I don't know what the provision will be in my case. Maybe Paula Deen will show up on my doorstep. Who knows?!

This weeks step toward my mission--make a list of people I'd like to have over for a meal and actually invite someone

In the meantime, I plan to work on my culinary skills...I've been eyeballing these book...
How to Cook Without a Book by Pam Anderson (not THAT Pam Anderson)
Martha Stewart's Baking Handbook
Martha Stewart's Cooking School 
I'm Just Here for More Food by Alton Brown
The Way to Cook by Julia Child

BTW, I made Mini Apple Pies from Heavenlyhomemakers.com...they were a big hit!!

My Mission

I was thinking about Job the other day. Can you imagine God being so confident in you that he would be willing to make a wager upon your unwaveringness? I certainly can't.

I'm a waiverer. Mostly, I think because I have all of these goals for myself but no concrete plan to achieve any of them.

When you head out on a journey, at least most of the people I know, have set a destination, a map or directions for how to get there, and any accomodations they'll need along the way.

That is what my journey has been missing. I know where I want to be but I don't have a set route for getting there. I've made no plans.

So, after being inspired by InspiredtoAction, I decided to write a mission statement...

To place all of my faith in God, and to prepare my heart, mind, body and soul to be fully utilized by Him.
To make Michael feel loved, and to take care of his needs and those of our household leaving him free to attain greatness.
To fill my childrens lives with love and joy, leading their hearts toward God.
To focus my time and energy on developing and preparing myself to show the love of Christ to those around me.

With this bit of direction, I plan to utilize this blog as a documentation of my journey toward these goals. And I'm asking you to keep me accountable--to let me know when I'm slipping, or when something isn't working.

Paying for Help

I've always been a sucker for manly men. Seriously. Not just muscles...the whole honor code...fighting for what's right...dragon slayer...who does what's right when nobody is looking...you get the idea.

I am an extremely blessed woman. I know that. I have a husband who helps in just about every area of domestic life. When I can't get something done, I always think "well I'll get it done when Michael is here to help me". And let me tell you, I can count on him to help me. He folds laundry, washes dishes, changes beds...you name, he does it. In fact, I can't think of a woman more blessed than I, whose husband helps them as much as mine does.

When Michael and I were dating someone told me, after witnessing us together, that Michael would do anything for me, that he was wrapped around my finger. I have to tell you that I didn't really believe them. I knew that he loved me...well, in my own psychotic way I did...which means I didn't believe that there was anything to love but that he did his best with what I presented to him.

It's taken me 10 years to even begin to believe them. But I can honestly say that he does. He will do anything for me, and quite frequently does.

This thought is completely baffling to me. But more than that I am angry with myself for wasting the past 10 years making him perform menial tricks to prove he loves me. I've had my dragon slayer washing dishes!

Can you imagine Indiana Jones being reduced to a housekeeper?!

And yet, in my love for manly men...I have reduced my own to a maid. I am kryptonite around his neck...I've trapped Superman inside Clark Kent.

So what do I do with this knowledge? I have to admit that I'm feeling pretty lost right now. How do I undo 10 years of damage? I'm going to spend the next few days coming up with a plan...I'll let you know what I come up with. Any advice?