I don't know about you but I struggle a lot with 'truth'.
There are so many people around me who seem so sure about what 'the Truth' is. I have no such confidence.
I know what I was raised to believe concerning spiritual issues, but I honestly can't say for sure that that is truth. Some things I know aren't at all.
I'm not talking about questioning the existence of God (been there, done that), I'm talking about the implementation of our worship of Him. I'm talking about what that worship looks like. Not only what most people call 'church' but every day communion with God.
Fear has played a large role in my own personal quest. I've seen others figuratively drug behind a moving truck because of how they believe they should worship God. Basically excommunicated because of their bodily stance during a public prayer. Families ripped apart, once revered men made a laughing stock.
I'm afraid. I'm afraid to know 'the truth'. If my beliefs don't align with those of my family and their friends, I will basically have to walk away from almost everyone I know. There is no middle ground where I am.
I don't know if I'm ready. I want to be. I desperately want to be.
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"Every day communion with God" - beautifully worded ... and even more beautifully LIVED!! "Be strong and courageous for I am with you" is what God said over and over again in Scripture (to more than just to Joshua) . I believe He says the same thing to us. If we are not willing to LIVE FREELY, how will others know it's possible?
ReplyDeleteYour struggle is deep and I offer no easy answers, but wanted to be an encouragement along the journey.
I've been by your blog for many months - almost always leaving a comment - but don't remember ever hearing back from you. Maybe responding isn't your style, but I'd love to have a 'formal' introduction.
It's scary and liberating at the same time to decide that you have to live your life based on YOUR relationship with Christ and what you believe the truth to be, and not what others expect of you. I haven't mastered it yet, for sure. Same as Tami, I don't really have any advice but I do want to encourage you!
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