15 Things I Learned During my Dark Night of the Soul

1. I had relied too much on other people’s biblical interpretation and spiritual experience. I didn't trust myself. I took scriptures that talk about seeking advice too far, and I trusted people to lead me. I was a sheep following someone other than the Shepherd.
2. I had quieted my own intuition in order to seek the approval and attention of people who I valued those things from. There were times when I should have spoken up, and I didn't.

3. There is value in standing alone. I have to be able to stand alone in order to be a productive member of a group and to show up for other people in a meaningful way. 

4. It’s okay to be misunderstood. People don't have to understand, and I don't have to explain. Some things are just for me.

5. Things can be two things at once. I can receive positive help, and harm at the same time. Things can be both good in some ways and bad in others.

6. There is value in waiting. In holding space. In continuing to walk even when I don’t know where I’m going. In trusting God. 

7. I don’t always have to find a solution, or meaning. I'm not responsible for figuring everything out. Taking a sabbath is a good reminder of this. The world will continue without me.

8. I can test the truth of what people say by the fruit they bear. If words don’t match actions, they aren’t true. 

9. Leaders who hide things and get angry when they are questioned is a red flag. 

10. True friends are always friends regardless of who is around, acknowledge issues in the relationship and own their part of things. 

11. People don’t belong on pedestals. 

12. Love bombing is when one person or a group bombards another person with attention and love in order to draw them in. It's a manipulation tactic.

13. Intimate relationships can’t exist when I won’t be honest. 

14. It can be easy to mistake my desires with God’s. 

15. I can be open minded, but eventually I have to make a decision about what I’m going to believe and do.

To read the next installment in this series, click here.